Hi there, you gorgeous people!

I have never written a blog in my life and it took me a while to decide on what to actually write about.  After a lot of thought, I've decided to share my experiences as a mainly closeted crossdresser that also has to hide the true nature of my sexuality due to family, work and other commitments.  If, at some point, somebody reading this relates to my situation and finds a bit of reassurance from not being alone, then I will consider this a worthwhile exercise.

Like all good stories, I guess the best place to begin is at the start which for me was when I was about 3 years old.  I had always been fascinated by the noise my Mum's high heels made when she walked and one day, when she was getting ready to go out, I thought it would be fun to put on a pair of her shoes and try to make the same sort of sound with them.  I remember her being quite alarmed by this and she told me not to do it again, especially not in front of my Dad (FYI, both of them were completely homo & transphobic).  Around the same time, I remember a couple of other things that were pretty clear indicators of where I would end up later in life.

I had a very pretty aunt who I guess I had a bit of a crush on but, more importantly, I was absolutely fixated by her leather knee boots!  I remember one time when she and my uncle came to visit that I noticed her boots at the top of our stairs as my Mum took me up to bed.  Knowing that the grown ups would be downstairs until late and that my older brother would not be going to bed yet, I risked sneaking out of my room to go and see these wonderful boots. 

They were brown leather, zipped on the inside of the leg and had high-ish, wooden heels.  I remember how naughty I felt actually touching the supple leather, yet I also felt the kind of reverance that you might feel if you got to shake the hand of your all-time hero.  Then, from the back of my head came an impulse that I've never been able to explain - I kissed them! I guess you're born with some fetishes haha 

The other thing that happened at around this time should have been a major flag to my parents but they completely dismissed it.  To capture family memories in those days, you used a 35mm camera and, if you were lucky enough, a reel-to-reel tape recorder.  We were lucky enough to have one and, on one occasion when other family came to visit with their kids, my parents let us loose with the microphone.  There I am, at three years old, adamantly proclaiming that I was a young lady to the uproarious laughter of my brother and cousins.  Silly little kid, getting his words mixed up, right? WRONG! I absolutely meant what I was saying.

My next memories about becoming who I am now all happen a few years later but I will leave them for next time as I don't want to kill you with boredom, dear reader.

If you're a crossdresser or transvestite, do you remember when you first took an interest in being something other than a boy? I'd love to know 

Thanks for reading and big hugs,

Janie xx