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I only date nice men, who want to meet for stamp collecting, baking and mutual respect
And now for something completely different.

To the only good man out there,

I'll be honest with you. I've been hurt pretty bad in the past. I refuse to be a cash machine or play thing ever again. So don't message me unless you know how to respect women. I'm a fun kinda woman.

I'm a sympathetic lady, who likes nothing more than stamp collecting with the right man.

None of my current partners understand me. I need to meet somebody special - somebody I really connect with.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my sympathetic personality, closly followed by my smashing fingers. I hope you will not laugh at my fingers, as men have in the past, or treat my ankles like a joke.

I work as a gardener, helping blind people. This allows me to exercise my skills: looking after people and saving lives. My job once caused me to encounter Robin Hood, yet still men treat me like junk. It's just not on.

My life goals include:

• Meet Eric Idle
• Punish men for being evil
• Discover that there are still some good men in the world
• Become the best gardener I can be
• Help all the blind people in the world
• If you're the right man for me, you'll be brave and gentle. You won't be afraid to speak their mind and will have a healthy respect for the environment.

My ideal date would involve baking in Canada with a brunette man by my side. While we're there, I admire your wide feet, hoping to myself that you're not another nutter.

In case I haven't made myself clear, men have hurt me in the past - bad. My last partner nailed my grandmother to a spike. Now I'm looking for a gentle man with wide feet, as I read in a magazine that they are the least evil.

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh?