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Fragile lawyer seeks hilarious man with scrawny hands for socialising, stamp collecting and maybe more
I have given pleasure to the world because I have such beautiful elbows! (Or so the Cat might say.)

Hello lads! I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

I'm a friendly kind of gal, who likes nothing more than socialising with the right man.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my funny personality, closly followed by my smashing elbows. I'm the woman for you, if you like great elbows and feet, particularly combined with ample baby oil.

I work as a lawyer, helping criminals. This allows me to exercise my skills: fixing cars and washing dishes.

My life goals include:

• Watch the filming of the next season of Red Dwarf
• Fall in love with you
• Become the best lawyer I can be
• Help all the criminals in the world
• If you're the right man for me, you'll be hilarious and special. You won't be afraid to have a good time and will have a healthy respect for cars.

My ideal date would involve stamp collecting in Dubai with a grubby man by my side. While we're there, I admire your scrawny hands whilst feeling I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.

Let me tell you about a funny thing that happened to me last week. I was just helping an elderly across the road when I was hit by a car. I needed three stitches. BOOM!

'Now kindly cluck off before I extract your giblets and shove a large, seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with.'