I would love to meet a cute boy or girl who is willing to let me smell, taste, and lick his/her anus and defecate in my mouth so I can smell, taste, and eat his/her shit. I promise to lick you clean afterwards so you don't have to wash or wipe. Then after I swallow your defecate (shit) I want you to urinate in my mouth so I can wash every bit of your defecate down.

I would also be interested in eating/drinking your vomit.