I was taught that watching porn eventually meant nothing and you needed more to keep filling that (assumed) addiction. I'm on here every few months when I'm really aroused and happen to have some downtime. I've had more than usual lately.

But it's true- at one point you do need more. When I was 18 I was only interested in lactation, some of it went into human cow territory. I went through my 20s looking at hucow porn only. Nothing extensive like life on a farm or getting too real with the settings.

Now, with too much time on my hands, it's a bathtub fantasy I'd never act out on. Whatever posts I make about breeding and living as livestock is just shit I have rolling around in my head. Forced transformation is pretty new. Since I lost a lot of weight I've been fixiated on what the loss has done to my breasts. What I once considered freakish and weird is just something new to play around with.

Same with the medical stuff. I had my brush with in-patient psychiatric treatment. Of course it sucked, but one does eventually fetishize their fears, right? My topless EKGs were embarassing IRL, but a very small part of me was turned on by it. I was afraid I was going to be given shock therapy against my will. I've always had a thing for being forced to undergo anasthesia. I like the loss of control.

With the last bunch of word vomit I crossed over into inflation. I figure if my main character is pretty much transformed one way, her body could be changed in other ways. It seems a natural shift coming from my own pregnancy fetish. 

Anyway, I'll probably get quiet for another few months before I come back with more pics and hormone driven updates about wanting to be bred but not really. Living with modded breasts but only wanting it for a few minutes at a time. 

When I get a minute alone in bed I'll still get down on all fours and drag my long-ish nipples across the bedsheets. It's real. I'm real. But it's the unreal that gets me going.