I’ve gotten some great suggestions for future blog posts, and I had planned on doing one of them tonight, but someone I was chatting with asked me something that got me thinking. He asked me why I do this- take explicit pictures of myself and post them online for the world to see. What do I get out of it? That’s a good question, and one I don’t necessarily know the answer to myself.

 if you spend much time in these spaces, which I’m sure anyone reading this does, you’ll have seen some commentary on the webslut phenomenon. Normal women and girls exposing themselves online, not for money or against their will, but just because they want to. Daddy issues come up a lot in these discussions, but my dad was pretty much father of the year, so I’m not trying to fill in a gap there, and I definitely don’t want to fuck him! So that’s not it. And maybe it’s an ego boost, but frankly, there are much easier ways to get people to tell me I’m sexy. 

So what do I get out of it? Risk. The same excitement you get on a roller coaster or when driving a fast car. You know you could die any second, but it’s so fun! That’s how this feels.

Everyone knows about revenge porn and just how terrible it can be for a woman to have explicit pictures show up online. Marriages ruined, jobs lost, families alienated, all because of a picture. And a certain segment of the online population loves that type of thing. Whenever a celebrity’s nudes leak, there are people salivating over the chance to jerk off to something that was never meant for public consumption. (On a slightly related note, if you are in any way ok with sharing nudes of people without their consent, fuck right the hell off. I do not want you here.)

So putting these pictures out there for everyone to see is the ultimate in daredevil behavior. With every new view, every visitor to my page, there’s the chance that that person could be the one who recognizes me and decides to email the pics to my boss. Every reblog of my pictures on tumblr is making exposure more likely. And that is an intense feeling. 

Not only that, but it’s a defense against the type of non consensual, fucked up stuff I was talking about earlier. If I put them out there myself, then no one can betray my trust and use them against me. Offense is the best defense, so I’m making sure the ball is in my control. 

So that’s it- that’s why I do this. The rush i get from the danger is intoxicating. And, yes, it’s gratifying to have complete strangers tell me how hot I am. Being a dirty whore online lets me get the thrill of walking into a seedy bar and blowing someone in the bathroom without the attendant gonorrhea and smegma-taste. It’s exciting, it’s fun, and its slutty. And that’s exactly how I like to be.