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I KNOW I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE. . . . . . . . . . . .
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My Loves,
I have threatened to leave. . . and I have, but I've kept sneaking back. Some of you have said I'll never really stay away, but that's certainly my intention. But after the wedding. I guess I miscalculated just how difficult it would be to remain utterly celibate from the engagement until the wedding. Although I have returned for sexual release many times, I HAVE succeeded in cutting down my time here very drastically, so I suppose that is Some progress.
I've seriously considered having a last girl/girl fling. I mean. . . . . I HAVE bedded 5 of my 7 bride's maids at some time or other during our association. Hmmmmm. . . that looks pretty bad right there in black and white. Gee, golly! I think I've pretty much ruled out a fling though, especially with a bride's maid. I don't want one of the wedding party bursting into tears for the wrong reason mid vow. Come to think of it, with 5 former lovers as bride's maids, there's a better than fair chance of that happening anyway. Oh cripes!
I'll be bluntly honest, my head is fairly spinning with all the activity and planning. . .and with all the emotional stuff too. My heart's been turning flip flops. Guys often used to ask me if I 'missed cock' back when Mom and I were lovers, and I honestly didn't. I'm like that, get very focused on my lover when involved, not thinking about what I Don't have. But as the wedding date looms closer, and the wedding NIGHT date, I'll admit that I have been getting pretty excited about having that cock again! The big surprise of the wedding night will, of course, be my revealing my Wedding Gift to my new husband. . . offering him my anal cherry. I gave him my vaginal cherry 8 years ago when I was but a tiny lass, and he wanted to have his way with my bubble butt even then, but it hurted me too much to make serious attempt even. But I have for these several months been busy training my butt to handle anal entry for sexual purposes. I still wouldn't call it my favorite thing, but as long as I am also having clitoral stimulation, the anal thing does feel pretty sexy now. What will make it wonderful for Me will be the pleasure and happiness it gives Him though. He won't be expecting it, and I'm sure it will delight him! I think it's very romantic to be giving my 'virginity' again to him upon our wedding night. I wish I could have saved myself for him and never had another guy. . . but I did have one other in the meanwhile. Not a bad track record, especially THESE days. And with him married to someone else for those 5 years, he couldn't very well expect that I'd have remained absolutely chaste.
As you might know. . . I don't really count my past daliances with other girls against myself. The only female I ever truly fell in love with was Mom, and that's been dealt with. . . mostly. Yes, we do still kiss once in awhile, but I don't think I can be expected to give up absolutely EVERY remnant of our once incredibly passionate relationship. I'm not running back to her bed, despite many of your encouragements that I do JUST that. It's only a little kissing, even if it is a bit more passionate than it ought to be.
. . . . well. . . .alright, I shall confess. Here if nowhere else, and TO no one else.
Yes. . . . it has been very hard, the emotions I've been going through. I DO miss Mom very, very much. I am glad that her very lovely (and long suffering) girlfriend and she are happy. But. . . there is a small, yet undeniable part of me that still longs for her, that wants to ask her "Do you still long for me and cry for me sometimes? Like I do for You?" And there is even a part of me that sees us together in a daydream, and hears her say to me "Fuck them all Kitten, let's just go! Let's just leave now, together and never come back. Have each other forever, and never mind what anyone says or thinks!"
I know she'll never say that. . . .and a good thing too, because I'm very afraid I'd reply "Yes! A thousand times, Yes!" and that would be that.
But instead, we shall all remain good, and sane. I shall marry the only man I've ever truly loved, and by this time next year will be the Mother of his child.
I know I don't deserve him, and I know I'm really not prepared to be a wife and Mother. . .but nobody really IS.
I love him, I've waited 8 long damn years to have him, I'm dying to have his child (or children!) and I long to make him happy. I know he loves and adores me and is dying to make Me happy. I think two people who's top priority is making each other happy stand a better than even chance of a successful marriage. If I am further very bluntly honest with myself, it is really the Only thing my heart really wants that it can also really Have without creating lots of chances for disaster. Sanity has not traditionally been my strongest suit. . .but I shall throw my lot in that direction with all the passion and conviction my soul can muster.
So, what can I say my dear friends? By about this time next month I shall have been boudoir photographed, gowned, altared, vowed, wearing the ring of my betrothed, swathed in Victorian lingerie and ready to be both ass fucked and impregnated by my dearest beloved.
Wish me Luck ~ your very Tabby Kitten
p.s. Pray, do not judge nor condemn me if you happen upon me in Chat getting some quick jollies before my wedding date. Criminy sakes, when was the last time YOU ever remained chaste without even diddling yourselves for any while at all??? ~ TK
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Posted on : Apr 9, 2018
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Commented on Apr 9, 2018
Well yeah. . . .it sure wasn't.
I hope it'll be smoother and happier from here, but it is LIFE. One cannot expect one's porridge to be forever lump-less.
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Commented on Apr 9, 2018
Best of luck Tabby 🙂🙂. Like the saying goes "the road to TRUE love is never smooth". Trust me, that saying is very accurate . X x
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