My Wife buys lottery tickets.  She was at the cashier checking on the winning numbers.  I made a quip to the effect that, "I wonder what it would be like to be millionaires and not know it."  Then I thought about our household combined income relative to others.  It's not extravagant, but on a global basis, we are among the fortunate. I bet we're in the 90+ percentile.  Guess what?  Compared to the human race, we actually are millionaires - so to speak - and we didn't know it! It was a nice change of perspective!

Similarly, I fantasize about what it'd like to be expertly brainwashed into becoming a mind-fucked feminized submissive faggot.  

Quite literally, as I write this, I'm wearing a black ensemble:  garter belt, stockings and bra.  The panties are a splash of colour, with a black mini-dress over top.  Black pumps.  I'm keeping shaved and smooth below the waist these days, in large measure at my Wife's urging.  I have a bit of eye make-up today.  I chose a neon pink wig.  I came home early, and at my Wife's suggestion, I am relaxing with a joint before beginning my evening chores.  I'll do the laundry and get dinner started before my Wife comes home.  Once I serve Her dinner, clean up, and get Her installed in front of Her favourite TV show, I will bring up Her vaporizer, and settle onto the end of the couch where I may be called to rub Her legs and apply lotion.  In my weed-enhanced state, my natural foot and leg fetish is typically ignited by this devotional duty, so by bed time I shall be in rather a lather of sissy arousal. Sometimes She will gesture me toward Her pussy, and I will lick Her to orgasm while She watches TV.  I try to keep my head from blocking the view.  Once I tuck my Wife into bed with a cold drink and her book, I will take my place at the foot of the bed, wherein as an unspoken reward for the day's activities, I will lay at my Wife's feet in a blissed-out, stoned, submissive trance of sissy arousal until dawn. Some nights, when I can't sleep, I arise after my Wife is sleeping, then crossdressed and further stoned, I'll listen to feminization and submission hypnosis files until I slip back into bed at Her feet. For some reason, I shall continue to abstain from orgasm, so tomorrow will also be spent in a pink haze of feminized arousal, only slightly more intense.

So, as I was saying, I wonder what it's like to be expertly brainwashed into becoming a mind-fucked feminized submissive faggot. At this point, I have absolutely NO WAY TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN CAUSE AND EFFECT.  Is this utterly deliberate or am I completely making it up?  I have NO IDEA.  Oh, and every time I try to raise the subject of sex with my Wife, She cheerfully tosses it off! I'm trapped, and I love it!