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Anal Masturbation... in and outs.

My wife made me cum while she was fucking my ass the other night.  I've been doing anal masterbation for around 20 years, so I thought I'd share how to do it with little mess and fuss.  And REALLY, I'm the only one I know who does it, so I'm not comparing notes with anyone, but I'm pretty particular about staying clean through pleasuring myself.  Sometimes I'll go months without doing it and sometimes I do it every day along with my dick; dick, ass, dick ejaculation, or every so often, simultainiously.

First I think I'll write a little about me, then a how to of sorts.  If I had a bigger dildo, I might record a tutorial, 'from cleaning out to cleaning up' (joking).  In 2015 I wanted to make available, around a dozen videos of anal masterbation that were from 30 to around 60 minutes long, but my computer got stolen.  They weren't dramatic or anything, just diferent positions and incertion.  I love both the stretching sensation and the in/out sensation.  I don't have any experience with any other men's butts or any women's butts, I'm not into it.  The biggest penetration I've taken is a can of beer or a 20 oz bottle, which ever is bigger.

To do: Don't make a mess, poop is soooo unsanitary, shit first to minimize the mess and hastle.  It takes me 5 to 10 minutes (less than a cigarette but I don't time it) to clean myself out, and the cleanliness thing is why I start in the bathroom although I don't feel it's dirty (metaphoricly) or that I get dirty (literaly).  I use KY or store brand genaric lube.  Take off your pants, at least, and wash your hands before penetrating yourself if you want to (you know what's been on them, so...).  The amount of lube to start out with should rest between your index and middle finger, but be liberal.  Rub those fingers over your anus to apply some lubrication.  I will usually crouch beside the toilet so my legs will be spread by the resting position of my body, or laying on my side in front of the toilet (we have a terribly small bathroom, but big enough for two), but sitting on the toilet works almost as well.  Push one finger in your anus up to the first or second knuckle, what ever you are comfortable with.  I usually start with one and then immediately go to two fingers because one finger moves very freely in me and the stretching feels good to me.  One finger will tell you how deep the stuff is that has to come out, but with two fingers in your ass, you can feel everything in it.  Move one finger in and out, and when you are comfortable with two fingers inside you, begin to move your index and middle fingers past each other, back and forth.  When you are comfortable with that, move your fingers in and out as well, to stretch your anus.

Because you shat before hand, there should not be shit at the entrance of your anus when you begin.  Relax and enjoy as you initially penetrate yourself, besides the pleasurable sensation, your intent is to spread lubricatin against the walls of your intestine, so you can reduce the friction between your sextoy and intestinal wall; but right now, the lube is to aid in a quick and cleanish removal of waste.  The massaging motion of your fingers, discribed at the end of the previous paragraph, will coax fecal matter along your intestinal passage.  The lube absorbs into the poop from the wall of your intestine, causing the poop to clump up or become firm and easy to manage with two fingers.  If/when it is beside your fingers, remove the fecal matter along with your fingers, from your ass.  It should come away from your fingers and fall into the toilet fairly easily because there is a layer of lubricant between your fingers and the turd that's been encapsulated with lube.  You get a pooping sensation because your fingers exasperbate what's already happening in there to facilitate a bowel movement.  That sensation goes away once the poop is gone, and you are not full of poop all the time.  I'm not, so you are not.

Throw waste in the toilet and flush, and wash your hands after every time (every time) you remove fecal matter.  I emphasize to wash your hands every time because because if you smear any fecal matter on your anus or against the wall of your intestine, it will cause a chemical burn sensation.  The sensation of getting fucked or masterbated while there is shit in my ass is like taking a chemical burn, similar to Nair hair removel cream, but it's all good once I'm cleaned out.  As fecal matter moves inside you, it is helped along by a coating (without that natural coating, your poop would come out like frosting from a decorators tube instead of in clumps or turds) and it doesn't smear along the walls of your intestine as it's expelled.  Remember, it takes around five minutes to clean yourself out, so you are really only washing your hands three times or four.  Apply more KY to your clean hands or dildo to continue or when you are cleaned out.  The KY encapsulates the turd to retard the odor as well as makes it firm.

Words to generally heed, "Anything that get's lube on it is the extent of the mess, otherwise there is no mess". The KY is in your ass, and that's where you want to keep it, unless you are taking, like a can or something, then a chalk dry outside will slow you way down.  I'm pretty sure that having a clean intestine (colon?) is why anal sex feels good, or at least, it's pivotal in why it feels good to me.  I like the stretching of my anus and it's feeling loose, but I like the in and outs a really lot too.  This's pretty much what I do before I masturbate my anus (especially before large objects or I take my wife's hand).  I do that until my ass is loose enough to take my dildo, which is the time it takes to clean my large intestine out; five to seven minutes.  So I smoke a cigarette and then I am loose enough for a (I think) 2 1/4 diameter incertion.  I had a lot bigger dildo that stood up without a suction cup but I had to throw it away.

:(...

I would guess that most of the time I already have the dildo in my ass when my wife starts playing with it or fucking me.  Warning: When my wife penetrates my ass with my dildo (but not so with her fingers), if I'm nervouse or something, it will feel like she tore something loose inside me, but she immediately pulls the end back out and after a few seconds rest (not minutes), my butthole will make room for the dildo's girth, and then I can move my hips to take it smoothly and adjust comfortably.  Lube is not totally necesary to masturbate your anus with mostly no mess; I mentioned no lube before, and when you massage your anus with only water, this same lubercation thing happens in your body, and your natural lubercation becomes apparent.  When your ass is are cleaned out, your natural lube is a very light brown jelly and does not smell strong like fecal matter, but it takes more patience for worry free fucking or elbow greesed anal masterbation, which is vigorus.

I don't doush because I think the liquid coaxes poop from further up (like an enima) because the water creeps further than the large intentine, so your colon is clean for less time than if you just pull it out.  Anyday I'll have at least 30 minutes of poopless time, which is just pleasure for me, if not an hour to and hour and a half, but if I do the same thing again... it only takes as long as I take to smoke another cigarette and then I can be fisted or take a can or bottle without even thinking of making a mess accidental anything.  Sometimes a drip of KY... but that's really as bad as it gets as far as a mess goes.  Lay a folded in half towel between your butt and the floor, bed, couch or other sturdy surface.  I think, that from the 20 years experiance with myself and my wife; concerning partners:  Although I can imagine some otherworldly catatrophy... if you poop on somebody, you tried to poop on them, if someone poops on you, they tried to poop on you.  That's something other than what I'm talking about in this blog entry.

My wife an I have two kids and she's been pregnant 3 times, so I don't think that doing this to myself has damaged me or anything.  Everything seems to work fine.  I don't know.