Sometimes I catch my breath and realize how real and powerful my sexual "games" have become.  Recalling myself as a serious, ardent young heterosexual male, I can hardly believe what has become of me.  I still manage to pass for "normish" on the outside, but my mindset and even my very sexuality have been morphed into something unrecognizable.  In regard to how the mighty have fallen, the notes below are a cross-section of my current experience:

I walk like a flouncy pink drag queen when I am alone.

I have two bins, half a closet and a shoe rack filled with slut clothes.   

When I do weed I suddenly feel like a slutty fuck doll has been let loose inside of me.

I can't recall the last day when I did not either look at sissy porn or dress.

My first words when my feet hit the floor in the morning are, "I am a sissy faggot."  

I often sleep next to my Wife in lingerie.  (Recently I woke up in red thigh highs and couldn't recall putting them on.  It left me turned on all day.)

Seeing a hot chick on the street makes me want to crawl up to her and beg to be feminized.

The most erotic thing in the world is not sex, but being made to crave sex, preferably as I'm being laced into a corset and stockings.

I often crave the blissful descent into trance as I subject myself to regular doses of feminization hypnosis. 

...and the most shocking aspect of my wonderfully warped consciousness is that I desperately want TO GO DEEPER.