This time was not like the others, it was very recent and has become my most depraved moment in my life; to date. I have always been sexualized, read my comments and you’ll see, I have a very open mind sexually. So when I get high, times that by 100. Last week I was at a friend’s house. She was having a weekend bash due to her recent divorce and large settlement from her ex. The house was gigantic, easily a million dollar home, roughly 8 rooms, tri level, large pool, indoor and outdoor spas, as well as a small guest house that was more like a bedroom set away from the house itself. I arrived early in the morning and my friend was already spun, I took two hits of X and smoked a bowl of G early on. She said some other people were arriving soon and until then wanted to show me what she bought. She had purchased nearly a pound of Crystal, practically pure, she said she did it because she wanted to get rid of cash quickly. We broke out several lines and heated up the bottom end of a straight hollow pipe (this is known as hot railing). We then each did two lines. I was spun as fuck in no time. Shortly after, people started arriving. Within a few hours there was 60 people at the party. My friend kept giving me more meth and every now and then another hit of X.

          The party had shifted gears slightly, I found myself in the bottom floor, about 15 guys, and a porn on the giant screen. The regular party was still going on, but it was clear to me that these guys were a bit different. My friend was nowhere to be seen and me being me, I was getting into the porn. I dropped 2 more hits of X and did 2 more hot rails, about a dime worth in each. Then one guy spoke and said they were part of the group that my friend got the pound of crystal from. They put on a different porn, it was a gangbang one. The meth and X coursing through me, my inner need was in overdrive. They asked me how felt about the video, I told them I have always enjoyed that type of porn, apparently that was all it took. I had a cock in my mouth in seconds and the line started. They began surrounding me, each taking turns in my holes, and never letting me think straight. The party had definitely turned, mainly because for the next several hours, I was a cum dump. With all the drugs in me, their words began to shift my reality, and instead of a normal party with people enjoying the drugs and fun, I felt like I was in a universe where sex was all that mattered. I began to notice that the 15 guys had changed, and there were at least 10 guys who were not there originally. Then I saw it, several cameras, all pointed at me in the center. One guy noticed that I saw and told me to tell the camera what I am, cum drooling down my chin I said “A fuck toy for all cock”.

          The party ended eventually, the guys all left, I took a shower, and when I came out my friend told me I could stay in the house/room in the backyard, she appeared to not know what had occurred, claiming to have been in the pool the entire time. I decided I was to high to care and knew I would not be sleeping, but she insisted that I go there and rest for at least a bit. Not 30 minutes later, my door opened and 6 guys came in, this time they were all black, all with guns, and all of them looked like athletes. They didn’t even ask a question. One guy pulled out a pipe, handed it to me, and said “Do what you do girl, get that pipe down your throat”. I did so without thinking, I was already higher than ever, but after a few strong hits, he gave me a needle. I don’t normally slam, but I did that day. They filled it with so much meth, I coughed nearly 3 times, the video of me and the nearly 30 guy gangbang/train was on the tv, all 6 had their 10+ inch cocks out, I was in another world, so much drugs, I was not rational, the main guy asked me if I was ready, I said; and I mean this; “Yes daddy”. He smiled, said good girl, and proceeded to shove every inch down my throat, I became exactly what tey wanted, I begged, called them my black masters, let them make me pray to black cock, just about everything a Race Traitor should do. I also let them take a pic of my shoulder, which has a very clear spade tattoo. I begged for a black baby, and thanked them for fucking the white out of me, all the hot words white guys jerk off too.

          When it was over, they said that should about do it, and thanked me for being so accommodating. I walked outside and friend shook hands with them, handed them the videos, and they left. My friend came to me, handed me a baggy with nearly 2 ounces and a thousand bucks. 35 guys Jess, you fucked 35 guys like it was nothing. I was still high and not thinking, but she slowly explained that she has been letting these guys make films here that they will sell on the net in other countries. She said they rarely sell them here, to avoid themselves and the girls from being recognized. I said it is the net, anybody can see it. She explained that by the time they are done editing, this will look like a forced vid and will be on a private, very expensive, and highly exclusive website that people will pay a ton for. She said it is not an accident that she had me over early, got me high, and kept me surrounded by porn; she knew me and knew I was easy and had very little ability to say no when high. She smiled and said she has done 4 of these before me and I was the first who actually took no coaxing. We stayed up the next day, still high and just talked, smoked G, and watched the other 4 vids. The 3rd night of this experience, roughly 4 days ago, I walked into the 3rd level of the house and saw her, on the couch, she knew I had been up for 3 days, knew I was strung out and in a state of mind where this was my world, she simply said the words “Okay Now” and I was grabbed, bent over, tied up, and fucked, 20 guys, each making me beg and moan, each making me call them daddy, I saw her playing with herself and she came just as the 12inch black cock drained into me. After they left, I was between her legs, she said they needed some forced scenes, and I made her cum in my mouth.

          She then handed me another baggy, called me a good cock socket, and drove me home. I am writing this because I realized something, I am a sex object, nothing more. I have always joked about it, claimed it, but I realize now, all I want is to be high and experience pleasure. I am a true creature of sin, I have no self respect because I don’t care what people think, I let things be done because they feel good, regardless of how it makes me appear. I am the true definition of fuck toy.