When I was first starting to get into drugs, I was unaware of how meth affected obsession. People who are cleaning when using meth in the beginning, tend to have a compulsion to clean every time they use meth. It creates a neural pathway that gets stronger with each usage, until it becomes the way you are when spun. I have posted before that meth was given to me when I first started getting fucked. What I did not realize was that I almost always watched porn, had sex, or was being sexual when high. It became part of who I was when high. Now, I can’t use meth and not become sex starved, no joke, and what’s more, the type of sex was always depraved.

So now at 25 years old, I am not inhibited at all, I have tried most things at least once and many things twice, I have a reputation of being the sure thing, it’s one that I admit is true. In high school I attributed my popularity with the amount of guys I was with, if that were the case, I was more popular than almost any 5 girls combined lol.

I have a MA Clinical Mental Health Counseling degree. I have learned what makes people tick and how the brain learns and retains knowledge. I know now that I have what is called an attachment disorder, I do not feel love the way other people do. I only feel love when I am being stuffed full of cock and when I have men using me like I am nothing more than holes. I am not happy when I am treated special, loved, and cared for. I must have men fucking me stupid to feel that feeling of love.

There is treatment for this, groups and classes I could take, that would help me gain that feeling through normal compassionate actions. But let’s be honest; do you really want me to be normal?

I am happy serving my sexual needs, I am content with being a cock socket, and proud to have given myself to sin and pleasure. I am a living, breathing, blow up doll with a heartbeat and I cannot thank my lord Satan enough for cleansing my soul of God’s despicable conscience.