How weird is it to want to be fucked by your wife's lover? I'm a cuckold – she doesn't know I know – but I'm not gay. I think what it is that excites me is being cucked and the humiliation that goes with it. I want the guy to fuck me because I'm straight and in order to make my humiliation complete. My wife would watch of course. That would be the whole point. At an earlier stage in our marriage, I became aware that a guy was chasing my wife and I was jealous. I waylaid him outside his office and warned him to fuck off which as far as I know he did. Now I'm 20 years older and I'm happy to wear horns. I found out about this lover because I discovered a photograph of him in her purse. He's sort of beach boy good looking. Long hair. Younger than us. But not by much. I wasn't pissed off. I liked the idea of Sheila cucking me, telling some man in bed how useless I am compared to him, pumping him up while running me down. The guy I've never seen in the flesh. There's no evidence that she fucks him at our house. The idea of him fucking me came to me in a flash while was thinking about them in bed together. I imagined his cock in her mouth choking her and then from nowhere I imagined him in my mouth and it was like a light switch going on. But it's not really about the guy. It's about Sheila and me. She's always been the dominant partner. When Sheila says no to anything she means no and her facial expression turns to stone at any hint of opposition. She's like this only with me. We've had our fights because of it but I've always been frightened of her so she always wins easily. It was years before I realised that being frightened of her was why I was attracted to her. I worked out that subconsciously, I'd do things that would cause a fight so that she could put me down and humiliate me. I realised too that that was why she'd married me. She wouldn't have wanted to be married to a guy she couldn't control. The humiliation was what we had in common. And it wasn't just psychological, it was sexual. For me, defeat in a fight was as good as a wank. I'm pretty sure that Sheila has never worked this out for what it is and I've never had the courage to tell her but I'm sure that I'm right. I want the guy to humiliate me for her. I get a hard on thinking about her watching with that hard stare of contempt she has while the guy head fucks me or even does me up the ass and it's her disgust that gives me the bang. She's seeing me being totally abject in the way I want to be for her but don't dare to be in real life. Having this fantasy frightens me. It'll never happen but the fact that I have it and that it excites me so much makes me wonder what I'd be capable of if I was more courageous. Even more weird, I guess.