Tonight I broke.  

Oddly, I thought I already had.  I've felt the tug of my submissive feminine pervesions many times; in cases quite acutely!  The feeling of a breakthrough, a strike of lightning, a sudden overload has coursed through me so intensely that I thought I would implode.  

Tonight was bigger.  Just bigger.  In every way:  I'm two jelly beans deep into a wonderful weed brain, I'm dressed to kill, including wig, make-up (after a fashion), heels...and a butt plug!  I felt an odd cold lucidity as I slinked down the stairs, repeating my trance-inducing mantra, "I am a sissy faggot transvestite mind-fucked submissive feminized brainwashed hypno-slave."  I was preternaturally coherent; it felt like "ConsciousnessHD."  

Something broke.  Something definitely broke.  Shit, I haven't cum, hell, I haven't even had a hard-on!  This feels like 98 percent of an orgasm is going on in my head, perpetuated by my own compulsive submissive cravings.  Trapped on the ragged edge of bliss.  There is only one possible reaction:  "Deeper!  I need to go deeper."