So I love wearing sexy and revealing clothes, that should go without saying. I have a huge wardrobe of hot clothes; small skirts that can be mistaken for large belts, summer dresses, short shorts, tight jeans, yoga pants, thin blouses, revealing tank tops, shirts with upper button holes sewn shut, rain inappropriate t-shirts, and tons of other stuff. I spend way too much money on clothes, lingerie, and cosplay costumes.

Now I’m not often into t-shirts with sayings, as they usually don’t do much for me. However, I do have one that I just love to wear, especially when I work at the bar. Of course I go braless, so that obviously helps gain attention (and tips), but the saying definitely turns heads. It reads:

“If you lend me your girlfriend, I’ll let you watch” (followed by the graphic of a red lipstick kiss)

Isn’t it just a perfect tease and flirt? Now what does it actually say – not much, really. I could be asking your girlfriend in help taking out the garbage or something so completely non-sexual. But, what it implies is awesome. In one simple phrase so many sexual images are infused and suggestive to anyone’s dirty mind: wild sex, lesbians, exhibitionism, voyeur, possibly the hint at group sex, and even a slight reference to submission in the choice of the word “lend”.

Working the bar, this t-shirt really helps with the tips. My personality clearly plays up to it as well. As guys will obviously try to make passes on me, this t-shirt gives them plenty of opportunity for an opening line. Most come-ons are pretty lame really, but every now and then there are some good ones (go ahead, what line would you use??). And it’s always great the few times it’s the girlfriend herself that tries to make the pass.

Typically the guy makes some crude comment and his girlfriend hits him on his shoulder. But I love watching the girl’s expression during the come-on. I believe, with my experience, that I can often tell when the thought is actually a turn-on for the girlfriend. Now sometimes with my playful tease it gets me an extra grab of my ass (which working a bar in yoga pants is quite frequent). But every now and then as I seductively lean over the table while serving the drinks, I end up getting kissed by the girlfriend. The moment she makes the move for a playful peck on the lips, I go right for the passionate french kiss. And although even much more rare, a few times the girlfriend has made the move and put her hand up under my t-shirt (it’s a bar and they’re so damn drunk).

And I know you’re dying to find out, so yes, there has been two times when I took the couple up on their offer and had a one-night stand after my shift ended. But they had to really, really work their asses off to seduce me. And as a true flirt I just loved it.

Please dream of me,

Stacy