You read that correctly, folks! I apologize for not posting for a while! Life gets hectic, and with final exams approaching, and this new job, how can I not feel like I'll kill over in a hot second? But yeah, your girl went from poppin' hostess, to security guard. It's not too bad. Though, I can't shake the feeling that I stick out like a sore thumb. Don't get me wrong, I'm liking the job, and the people I work with have been very encouraging to making sure that I don't fuck up. If I do happen to fuck up in a major way, like I don't know, punch a millionaire resident of my place of work, then not only is the person who recruited me in for it, so are the people that are lined up and tasked with training me. It's not a forgiving job at all...it's not a job for idiots, and although people may see security guards as rent-a-cop assholes, they are hired to do a job, and most of them are ex-cop or ex-military men and women who are very capable of protecting the people on the property. These people are here to help, and our jobs, are even more unforgiving than a peace officer, and I'll tell you why. 

We are tasked with patrolling a very large property, with no additional protection for ourselves. We don't get mace, we don't get a taser, and we need to get licensed to carry a baton. So, if we run into a situation where a person is threatening us, (we are alone when we do these patrols) and intends to do us harm, we defend ourselves to the best of our ability, and call in for back-up. It's definitely not one of those jobs where we can just fuck around and be assured that nothing will happen...our presence is meant to be a deterrent for illegal activity in a highly populated area...

According to the a fellow guard, the one who was tasked with training me, said that during a shift, we walk anywhere from 7 to 10 miles a day. Which, let's face it, a lot of us don't do very often...so I have something to look forward to: SWEET ASS CALVE MUSCLES! And maybe a nicer butt. lol. 

Now, to address the elephant in the room...me being a female guard. 

Yes, I am a female guard who probably looks more fitting in a club job than a security position. lol. The problems we run into a female guards are people not listening to us, lots of glancing, and people simply not listening. Apparently I turned a lot of heads on my first shift, and that raised a lot of eyebrows. "Why is she working here?" "She must've been a model at some point." Which, unfortunately make it more likely that people will not listen to me in the case of someone pissing on the walls, having sex in the parking lot, or whatever else people with a lot of money and too much time like to do when they are drunk! 

Bottom line, The industry I am in, isn't one that was tailored for women. To be frank, they don't even have female garments or shoes. Everything is tailored for males, and everything else ends out looking over-sized or overall fucked up. I ended out getting some black cargo pants from an ex-military friend, and decided I'd go for the tucked in pants over the fugly ass, flared out, slack thingies that came with my shirt. LOL. Sorry, but fuck you, security uniform making people...this bitch right here is a fashionista...she don't wear poorly fitted garments for anyone...y'all TRIPPIN. 

So, I've went from a Certified Tanning Professional, to a Receptionist at an Accounting Firm, to a Lifeguard, to A Hostess at a "high-end" Night Club, and then finally a Security Guard...I think next I'll be a yoga instructor...what do you think? lol