If you have looked at any of the images saved in my "favorites", you will note that I have a taste for BDSM imagery. My interest in this area began at a surprisingly early age. When I was ten years old, I would go with my mother to pick up my father from work. Next door to the office building in which he worked was a small mom-and-pop grocery store. Sometimes my father wasn't quite finished for the day when we got there, so we would go into the store and my mother would chat with the woman who owned it. At that time of day, the store was always devoid of other customers. While they were chatting, I was left to amuse myself as I saw fit. Sometimes I would stand nearby and listen to their conversation; other times, I would wander around the store looking at whatever there was to look at.

One day I wandered over to the magazine display, which was just out of sight of the checkout counter where my mother and the owner stood. There were various comic books and magazines there, but the publications that really caught my eye were the "men's magazines". I'm not talking about Playboy or anything of that sort. The ones I'm referring to featured adventure, crime, and war stories, perhaps true, probably not. I didn't care because I never got past the cover art. Many of these magazine covers featured images of women with their clothing half-torn-off, bound to a chair/a wall/a table, and being tormented/abused/tortured by leering Nazis or some other villains. This idea of being bound and abused really fired my imagination. Strangely or not, I identified with the women in these images and became enthralled with the idea of finding myself in those dire circumstances.

I was already masturbating by that age, although I had no concept of "sex" or any sense that what I was doing was "sexual". At night when I went to bed, with those images still fresh in my mind, I would masturbate while fantasizing that I was the helpless captor, bound and tormented. These fantasies enhanced the pleasure of masturbation immensely, although I had no idea why and wasn't sophisticated enough to understand or even question it.

Eventually I moved on to other, more "normal", sexual interests and forgot about the bondage. Then one day, while looking at porn, I saw a photo of a naked man, hands cuffed behind his back, on his knees, with his face buried in a woman's ass, and that's when it all came together for me. The idea of torment/bondage fusing with the idea of sexual servitude made perfect, provocative sense, and I've been a devotee of that mindset ever since.