So there I was. I had graduated. I had a job. I wanted to move out on my own. For some reason, I was having a difficult time just getting some basic decision-making powers together. It's not that I was stupid. It was that my head was still just spinning... I was getting LAID so much it was actually kind of affecting me. It was like I couldn't pay attention to anything not related to getting my cock into some pussy... sound familiar to anyone? Pretty normal for that age I'm sure, but moreso. Things had stopped with my older lover, who had moved away to the east coast. I broke up with my end-of-hs girlfriend when she realized the extent to which I was cheating on her... but still it continued. Largely through my photography work and through just going out to clubs and things at night.

One time I tried to force myself to abstain for an entire week to try and get my shit together. I slept soundly in my resolve that first night. I woke up at 6am with a raging hard-on. Pulsing-raging, and just this visceral memory of dreams I must have been having... just oily legs and midriffs and breasts, open smiling mouths... bouncing pigtails of blond hair... massaging the small dimples over a girl's ass-cheaks with oil.. my dick deep up her ass...

 Basically, i wasted a full two days jerking off, never getting any closer to figuring out what to do with myself. Or if I should. Then I went back to *work* and started taking girls home or up to their hotel rooms again..