Reflections on my first attempt trying to take a series of sexy selfies:

*Camera makes the nicotine stains on my fingers look like poop
*Camera makes close-up shots of my scarlet underpants look like I’m wearing Magical Glowing Underpants™
*All my “laying down all sexy-like” shots look like a serial killer has killed me and used his phone to take quick trophy shots
*Literally impossible to get good angles my arms are not that long and elbows only bend one way
*Trying to do different sex stuff all with one hand is awkward and uncomfortable and the opposite of fun
*Lighting.  Lighting, kids.  Lighting.  Is.  Important.

I got a couple of good “standing in front of a mirror being cute” type pics so at least it wasn’t a total wash.