A number of years ago I wrote some very lengthy blogs about my transformation. I have always considered myself a crossdresser turned on by dressing in sexy women's clothing and pulling myself off. I am not a women trapped in a man's body and I did not consider myself gay. In fact dressed as a male it made me sick to think about about doing it with another guy. But once dressed as a slut being fucked by men came so easy. Over the last 15 years I have been very lucky to be owned by men whose turn ons greatly made my transition much more easier. Although I feint at the sight of blood I have always been a massive fan of being in tight and painful bondage for long times. This totally suited my previous owners. In return there was never a desire on my part to become a fulltime female. I allowed minor cosmetic changes with feminine prescriptions, electrolis to remove all body hair, a small medical procedure on my voice box and regular feminine maintenance. Never ever did I consider or want to have my cock removed or breast implants. Effectively I have a lived a feminine lifestyle for a fair while.

 

I have gone through a number of owners with those changes occuring as they get bored with me or want a younger version. While most owners have tried to convince me to lose the cock and get bigger boobs, I was always able to put it off. My current owner and previous one were more forceful and also have been very strong in observing that as I get older it is not going to be as easy to find a sugar daddy. With that in mind about 15 months ago I agreed to a boob job that was done in Thailand. After the operation I spent nearly 1 year in the country working in his lady boy club. More as a hostess to introduce the customers to the ladyboys. My main asset to my owner was as a European blond bondage sex slave for degenerants who got their excitement in long term torture, rape and generally treat you like shit. I really loved my time there and made some great friends with the lady boys. They were so soft and just knew how to totally turn me on for long periods of time. It was great to prance around the club in the nude with them playing up to the potential customers who were mainly Europeans. My actual work was in the more upmarket discos entertaining rich asians, firstly as an escort and later to pleaseure them, their business guests or satisfy their sadistic streaks.

 

Back in Australia, my health has started to deteriate very quickly. I have always been an exceptionally heavy drinker and smoker. I have been diagnosed with diabetes 2 and need to have injections. The brothel I work in has regualar medical checks for the staff and recently I was told that I was a strong candidate for Prostate cancer. My owner immediately checked me into hospital to have my prostate removed removed.

 

This is where my greatest torture started. Prsotate cancer can only be found in men. Imagine my huge initial embaressment turning up in hospital looking like a total female slut for a man's operation. I tried to tone myself down as much as possible with no make up and boring clothing but you could see the staff snickering and giggling between themselves. The theatre staff must have shit themselves when they saw my body, boobs and tattooes. Pretty embarresing when you have the words "Enter at rear" tattoed above your cock when they are slicing your belly open. When I woke up you are encouraged to start walking as soon as possible. Again how totally embaressing walking down the corridors in a theatre dress with a catharta stuck up your cock hole in the men's ward.

 

I was so relieved to get out of there and go home. But that was only the start of my torture. The prostate controls your urine flow and there is longer any seman. I have been reduced to a pissing oversexed whore who can not relieve my constant sexual urges. While I try to strengthen my core muscles to control the flow of urine, my girlfriends will not touch me down there and I have lost nearly all my customers as noone wants urine over them. In fact the only occasional work is with this prick who likes to spread me and watch me piss all over the place. I have been able to satisy myself a bit by pulling my teeny cock watching porn, but all that comes is liquid with no cum. Then for the next few days I pee even more in my pad. 

 

I am beginning to think that the cancer scare was only to get me to have the operation and then later remove the cock and  have a girly hole constructed in order to avoid the total frustration and pain I am currently suffering. I can tell you that I am so clopse to just getting the fucking worthless thing chopped off. After all as my owner keeps reminding me that I am not getting any younger and I need to find a wealthy guy to pay for my high maintenance life in future.