Earlier this week i came to the point that i was so full of self-disgust that i decided to stop dressing and go with the gender i was born with. i spent an evening putting all my girlie things in black bags and squashing them into the dustbin, removing the nail varnish from my toes. I have had my hair cut. b

I have told my Mother and  boyfriend.He said it was probably best as he was getting fed up waiting for me to let him fuck me. She just laughed at me and said I'd be back soon enough.

The rubbish is not collected until next Friday, and i keep thinking of all the stuff in the bin. And I'm back here. I feel the old temptations but am trying to keep the strength not to give in.

Alan (my real name)