Since I was a kid I would love dressing up as a girl and my earliest sexual fantasies involved men, not women. As I got older I sort of let go of these thoughts in the hopes of being a “normal” boy. But I wasn’t normal. Im submissive, shy, and emotional. I have a well-below average penis (3.5 inches erect) and have never had sex. I am now 22 and still a virgin. I will remain this way for a very long time. In high school and university, as my friends began dating, I once more confronted the fact that I wasn’t normal. Here I developed an excessive masturbation habit and a love of various fetish porn. It was only recently though that things started to change further. Earlier this year I got my first girlfriend. The relationship ended a week later. And in my depression I decided, for the first time in years, to try on a pair of panties and a bra. So I went into my parents room, opened my mother’s dresser and picked out a pair of black lace panties and a black lace bra. The moment I looked at myself in the mirror I felt happy. I felt like this is who I am and want to be. I am bi. I admire men for their masculinity that I can never have and women for their beauty that I hope to achieve. I want to be a girl. 

Some other things...Early in my youth my grandmother and I used to play doctor. Often she would have me dress in girly things and then she would “examine” me. I’ve seen both my parents nude at an early age too which influenced my early sexuality. At doctor’s appointments during the nude physicals I would feel humiliated when my real doctor examined me. One time I even got an erection but he made no comment. Both my younger brother and father have much bigger penises than mine. I masturbate at least 3-5 times a day. I also enjoy humiliation, especially small penis humiliation.