A wonderful thing happened to me here recently. And then I breached someone's trust and ruined something amazing. I will explain.

A few days ago I was PMed by a new female member, asking whether I liked her and if I could "throw her away". Her galleries of herself showed an attractive young woman, a senior community leader, someone with friends and family. But she was clearly working through something dark. Pictures of her looking stunning in a white dress had been photoshopped to include the word "slut" and she was asking in her profile, like so many other young women exploring their sexuality, for fakes and comments of the lowest kind.

I messaged her offering my services, but warning this place is not kind to young women. The worst of ImageFap is not what most "explorers" are ready for. Most men are brutes, unable to craft a narrative to help a woman find her level, to understand her hidden desires. Her response was that she did not want chat, just to be objectified.

I managed to engage her. It became clear she was sick of her public image being so responsible and respected while inside she longed to express her filthier instincts. People saw her as a pillar of the community. She wanted someone to treat her the way she felt inside. That turned me on a lot. One thing led to another, and we entered a prolonged cyber sex session during which we both came. I enjoyed being dominant. She seemed to relish debasing herself. She was incredible. And very naughty.

We had agreed to hook up that morning. Then when I logged on the next morning, her account was gone. (I had warned her to delete her galleries the night before, to avoid the worst of the misogynist trolls. Also: to prevent her being identified. The irony...) But we had connected in a visceral way and I could not accept the fact she had just disappeared.

I reverse image searched one of her pictures and came up trumps. In 30 minutes I knew her name, activities, her city and I had a dozen new images of her. I do not know why I even did that. I had no use for the information. It was just curiosity, a need to understand my slave a little better. I moved on.

Then she PMed that afternoon with a new account.

She wanted more and I was ready to give it to her. We began to talk dirty. And then, in a misguided attempt to ratchet up the excitement, I used her real first name in a PM. At first she didn't seem to notice. I took this as an acceptance of this new level of intimacy (a dick move) and used it again. Suddenly the new account was also deactivated.

I now have no idea how she is dealing with what I did. I would never publicly identify her. I would not try to contact her off ImageFap or attempt to shame her. I did not want to frighten her. But I worry that she is panicking and upset at what I might do with this information. (At least it was me who reverse searched the image and not some stalker; and at least the images are now off the site.)

This is a public apology to her - I am sorry for checking you out, Paz. I am sorry for using your real name. It thrilled me to dominate you and I still want to play with your inner slut. But I respected your red lines when we chatted and I respect your identity now.

It is also a wake up call to us all. However much we play here, however safely parked as fantasy, this is real people, real lives. A mistake like mine can cause real distress. Be careful people.

I need to take a break - a proper break this time. And if you are out there Paz - email bettyloves@hmamail.com and let me know you are safe. (I cannot reply using that address - I will find a way to contact you if you want that.) Or PM me here.