Dear Prudence,

My 25-year-old son who is unmarried and lives with us was very badly injured in a road accident several years ago and among the things he cannot do for himself is masturbate. To come straight to the point, I masturbate him myself every day and have done for some time. Sometimes, I get naked or semi-naked when I do it for him and we both get pleasure from what I do to him. I won't pretend that the act is purely hygenic on my part although at first I told myself that this is what it was. I love to have his penis in my hand, to waken it and feel it grow, to kiss it and smell its odours. I know that this is incestuous but under the special circumstances I do not feel guilty although I have never had the courage to talk to anyone about it or to make a confession to our priest. My husband does not know and I dread him finding out. I'm writing now because my son is pressing me to go further and to let him have actual intercourse with me. The fact is that he is a virgin. He had girlfriends before his accident but he never slept with them. The same pity that led me to begin masturbating him – and it was my initiative - tempts me to give in to his pleas for penetration. At the same time, having my son's penis in my vagina seems to be such a radical step. I'm aware that I get as much satisfaction from masturbating his penis as he does and I worry that it will be the same if I let him penetrate me. I want it and shrink from it at the same time. What will I do if he then wants to cum in my mouth or even penetrate me anally (which, by he way, I would never, never allow my husband to do to me)? I fear that even thinking about these things means that I subconsciously really want them to happen and that if I agree to vaginal intercourse with my son the rest will happen too. I realise that this is rather confused but I do not think I am a bad person even if I do sin with my son because situated as he is it does not seem sinful but a necessary act of love. I am writing to you not so much because I want to burden you with the decision (because I think in the end I will do whatever my son asks, I'm just not sure when) but because at this stage I need to share with someone.

Yours sincerely, Anne

Dear Anne,

It's obvious that you have already decided to have a full incestuous relationship with your son. I normally advise great caution to families who want to indulge in incest because there can be bad consequences afterwards. I have no objection to casual, consensual masturbation between mother and son and it's historically less unusual than people think. Often the son wants it and it is a pleasant and intimate way to acquaint him with the vagina. Intercourse is a more complicated matter but there are special circumstances in your son's case which I think permit it. He's old enough to know his own mind and from what you say, the only alternative would be to provide him with prostitutes. I'm sure that in this instance, a mother's love and willingness would provide each of you with great satisfaction. Clearly his father should never know of the sexual liasion between you. I hope you will write again to let me know what happens.

Yours sincerely, Prue