I recently had a young man in my office with an earnest set of concerns. He is a current university freshman and I would describe him as being thoughtful, intelligent, and sensitive. He also described being very astute and self disciplined in terms of his coursework and responsibilities. Apparently, however, something has recently ‘come up’ for him, and it is wreaking havoc with his orderly disciplined life: 

“Since I started having sex with Amber, its like I literally can’t think of anything else… I sometimes felt kind of horny before, but now it’s like my whole body gets tense and wants it… I used to masturbate maybe once a week, and now it’s every day - even on the days Amber stayed over the night before…”

I asked him if any of these changes were interfering with his schoolwork or if he was sensing guilt about it. He admitted that he was daydreaming more and accidentally skipped an afternoon class because he was having sex in his dorm room with Amber.

“I never thought it was going to be like this… just like this hot closeness but its not even what I imagined love to be; it’s physical but like its so good I almost can’t stand it. And its over and over again! Like we just did it and she just kindof starts playing with me and then like licking my [genitals] and sucking on my [penis] and i get hard again and then we just [have sex] again. Like four or five times in a row sometimes. “

So, how does this make you feel?   ( A pretty standard question, I ask half smiling)

“I feel like I can think of nothing else, like I can’t even think straight… if I close my eyes it’s like I’m seeing Amber’s [breasts] bouncing in my face or her [vagina] that I’m licking… pretty messed up, right?”

Welcome to adulthood, Kevin. An actual legitimate part of life is simply the act of fucking-your-brains-out!