My wife read a book in which a man asks a woman he is sharing a bed with, but with whom he has a non-sexual relationship, for permission to masturbate beside her. Would a guy really do that, she asked. I think it would be polite even on the part of a lover or husband, I said. You've never asked me that, she laughed. I've never masturbated in front of you, I told her. In any case, it's not just courtesy although that matters. When a man asks a question like that he's giving control of his masturbation to the woman. What if she says no? Of course, he can get out of bed and go and have his wank somewhere else. But maybe that's not what's going on. He's giving her the power to say no because he wants her to exercise it and being obedient to her also gives him a thrill. My wife was puzzled. How do you know this, she asked. Have you been reading up on psychology or something. I know it because I lived it, I told her. You remember Jane, my first wife. After we split up, we still went on holiday sometimes with the kids but we had separate rooms. On our first evenings back tobgether, I said I realised we weren't sleeping together but I wondered if she might masturbate me. What she didn't know was that I didn't mind whether she said yes or no. If she agreed, I would be masturbated. If she refused I would have the pleasure of her knowing I would be masturbating in the next room. In the event, she said she didn't want to masturbate me that evening but might do it it to me later in the holiday. She never did because something always seemed to crop up to get in the way but the fact of my masturbation was a constant presence between us. She even said as we parted that she was sorry she hadn't done it to me. My wife listened to this with an amused smile. So you wanted to be submissive to Jane but you don't to me, is that it, she said. How about if you let me watch you masturbate without me taking control. I've never seen you wanking but don't think I don't know you do it. We went upstairs and I took my clothes off and did it in front of her right away. Afterwards, fondling my cock, she said that was beautiful. I think I'm going to want to see it a lot and that's whether you like it or not. I like it, I assured her, and started fondling myself again as she snuggled down to watch.