Okay, so why do I lean more favorably towards women, in an emotional sense at least? As I mentioned in my previous post, I didn't grow up with good relationship with guys. I think it was only during college did this actually happen. At elementary, we thought boys were gross and stayed within our gender circle. Keep in mind this was the 90s and our generation was very naive. It didn't help that our playground consisted of nothing more than a courtyard and there was little boys and girls could do together. Not to mention our teacher was a little discriminatory. She wasn't super favorable to girls, but there are times when you can hear her banter on how most men start wars. 

In junior high, I wasn't really exposed to the opposite gender yet. I was a bit open minded, but I still didn't associate myselves with them too much. By the time of my senior year, I started dating and it was fine. However, I still had a closer bond with girls and it was because of this closeness that I became attracted to them. At first, I still considered myself straight as an arrow and thought of it as just a passing feeling that I would get over. It didn't help that the LGBT community was still considered taboo where I was from. You'd have an easier time sleeping with one eye open than actually confessing this. 

However, as I entered college and my man-hate phase began, I started opening up a bit more and joined female cliques that supported feminism and even separatism. So if you're wondering where my name came from, it came from the S.C.U.M manifesto that promotes female separatism. Whether it was a mockery book or a genuine manifesto is pretty much up to your own interpretation of things, but I believed in the latter.

Now it was during this phase that I began longing for companionship, but didn't want guys in my sheets. Eventually, a friend of mine introduced me to a girl. Believe me, I was hesitant. Despite associating myself as a man-hater, I still couldn't consider myself as a lesbian. However, I gave it a chance and it was actually pretty good. The feeling was warm and I actually enjoyed having a woman on top of me instead of a man. Despite this, I found myself moving away from the girl. What was the problem? She was a VERY radical feminist.

I've heard of these before and despite promoting separatism, I didn't go that far as to promote androcide. I didn't like how men treated women, but I as hell  didn't want to see the innocent ones get murdered for the guilty. So after realizing this, I broke away from these certain cliques. Believe me some of these cliques even argued with one another, one even berating a feminist group for being trapped in a patriarchic bubble for wanting to keep men alive. 

Despite breaking away, I still had a deeper connection with women. I instead joined a group that did some no strings attached sex. It was a little difficult to fit in, as most were looking for simple sex, whereas I had certain standards. It took time for them to properly pair me up with someone. Fortunately, I did it more with women than men. My emotional attachment pretty much stemmed from a long sense of sisterhood since I was a child. I found more companionship with women than men, which is why I'm actually willing to be under a woman if she wants it.