This winter feels long, longer than others; at this point of the season it's same every year. I may be becoming older. Actually, I really don't know what that means – I drink, do sports, fight, fuck, wank and everything like I always have been doing it. Well, now I get pissed off more often and easier, just with male assholes who start fucking with me, like telling me I'm old or something. Ah, who cares anyway, I pay my tickets, they hopefully get new teeth, and life goes on.

I was so lonely after my sweet little rag-doll was taken away from me two weeks ago, that I had to go to the bar and get drunk like I'd never been before. First, at home, I took a sip (half a bottle) of vodka and listened to my favorite music – Celtic Woman – and then took off to my ways to the nearest cheap fucked up trash-loaded bar I could find. Celtic Woman makes me cry every time I listen to them, they have so beautiful, heavenly voices and those songs dig deep in heart.

Nobody wanted to fight me at the first sight, so I sat down and let afew beers clear my mind abit. Then somebody wished to buy me a drink – a real ugly-faced redneck thug, my aged – of course I accepted an offer like that. We drank and talked about life (alot of coarsing), and he told me he was a ex-con and stuff, then introduced me to his wife, who was twenty years old and pretty as a piglet, nice behaving angel. I watched them a moment, the contrast of life, young and old, beauty and the beast, and felt so much comfort and delight and joy of what life can give a little human being like them or me. They were in love with each others and wanted to share that with a stranger – what could be more blessing?

This maybe: the wife went to the balcony where everybody was smoking and came back with an slightly older, but still young, woman arm in arm and introduced us to each others! I was stunned! Now it was my turn to buy drinks for them! So beauty and the beast left us alone at the table. I was wondering, y'know the whole place was full of people, nobody approached us for an hour, but left us in peace, and the rest of the big table was just empty of customers, and we could make ourselves comfortable.

We got to know each others quickly; after a while she wanted to kiss me, me too her, then we started fondling, and the rest of that night we were there wrapped around each others and had non-nude sex in the middle of the bar. We both knew we were too drunk to go anywhere for having a decent lovemaking session or anything and determined to stay there.

That's something where dreams come from – a real life woman and a real life man in a real life. And I'm in love again. Who could have believed that kind of thing coming up, just like snap! And via a really ugly motherfucker like he was.

Ok. have a good time, I'll be back.