Is this Madness?
Is this how it feels?
To collapse into myself
The strength to stop my fall
Less than a bitter memory

I raise my hand to wave
Forgetting momentarily that he is gone
I smile at the shadow of no-one
My mouth twitching in the attempt
Then it returns
Mutating as it reverts
To a grimace of pain
If I had a mirror
I would cry to see me.
To see what I was
become what I am
Where did he go
The man in the window
I miss the connection
Even if he is not
Will he smile next time?

I see easy smiles
In the world in my mind
I see lives whole
But only in part
Beginning Middle End

Will he be my connection
The man who passed/
may have passed my window
Will he be a redeemer
My Janus distilled
My chance in between
Moment on Moment
I cant picture him
The moment is gone
Was it ever real
He is nowhere inside
Like whitewash to my memory
I am left once again
No more nor less
I would cry
But I dont know why