i'm not sure if anyone even reads this, but i want to confess some of my deeply masochistic and submissive thoughts. i haven't had the opportunity to really explore this side of me in my pics.

i have been obsessing with finding ways to humiliate and degrade myself. i have been thinking very hard with how it would be possible to push myself further and further into the abyss. First i imagine tattoos and piercings to aid in torture and humiliation: nipples, (what's left of my) testicles, dicklett, stomach, mouth, lips, tongue, cheeks, ears, nose, and anything else that would allow to implant steel devices all over my body. Put gauged piercings in my cheeks to make more holes that go to my throat. Make sure my little dicklet is not only locked away and useless, but full of holes shot through with steel. Maybe even piercings around the opening of my asshole to make it easier to stretch open. Tattoos on my face, my pubic region, and most importantly around my gaped and stretched asshole to let everyone who sees me know that i am a subhuman piece of shit rape meat. Make sure that i could never enter the world again as anything other than rape meat. Then would come extreme surgical modification: Perminantly disable me. Make sure i can never walk correctly again. Maybe cut the tendons in my calves to make it impossible for me to walk without special steel shoes that force me on my toes. Surgically remove ALL of the hair on my worthless body. Maybe force me to get breast implants and ass implants. Fuck my hands up so that they never work right again. i wonder if there is a way to perminantly fuck up my posture so that i have to always hobble with my ass poking out and my head held down. Maybe you could even give me a perminant traicheotomy tube so that you would always have access to my throught. It might be fun for you to torture me by suffocating me until i'm forced to breath through the tube that you control with a tube and a nozzle. Or force me to smoke through it. Remove my teeth, of course Sir, and stretch my tongue out so far that it always sticks out of my mouth But even all of this seems tame to me now: i want to become my own chains, cage, and fetters. i want to be so full of steel and artificial impliments that i become a mere accessory to my own cage and prison. i want to be fitted with perminent steel attachments in my arms and legs so that my chains are attached directly to my limbs without the need for cuffs. i want a steel fixture implanted at the base of my spine that is attachable to other steel poles that would force me to stand in place.

 i recognize how fucked up this is and i don't mean to imply that anyone but me has fantasies or wants things like this to happen to them. But i do. If you ever wonder how you should treat me, here you go. i'm a worthless pain pig.