"The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."

"In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice"

"You did it! The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck."
"However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanized."
"Please escort your Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator."
"Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process."
"While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you."
"Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain."
"The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it."
"You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations."

"The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake."

"What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you."

"We are very, very happy for your success."
"We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success."
"Place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides."
"A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party."
"Make no further attempt to leave the testing area."
"Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party."

"Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back."

"Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like [no way] and then I was all 'we pretended we were going to murder you'? That was great!"

"This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this."
"I'm not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you."
"I'm going to kill you, and all the cake is gone."
"You don't even care. Do you?"

"Good news: I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did."
"It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin."
"So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters."