The day I found out I was underendowed will never leave my memory.  I was 12 years old and told that we had to participate in gym class and after this class we would have to take showers with each other.  I was curious to see what other guys looked like because the few times I had seen my father in the restroom, his penis seemed huge in comparison to mine.  However, I knew that he was an adult and that someday mine would be as massive as his and my peeing would be a huge stream like his instead of the thin strand of liquid that mine currently expelled.

When we first came to gym class, we all had to wear our mandated gym clothes: golden tee shirts with royal blue shorts.  We were also required to wear the dreaded athletic supporter.  I had to purchase an extra small jockstrap at the local athletic store, but I was rather short for my age and assumed it had to do with my height and thin waist.  My dick and balls were lost in the mesh that sagged open a bit, but I guess the strap felt slightly snugger than my jockey shorts. 

The first time we changed from our Levis, Lees, Tough Skins or corduroys, we all had strip off our tighty whities and put on our jockstraps.  I was standing next to Deon Dixon, Ryan Bigelow and Eugene Chow.  As I stooped over to put my right foot through the strap of my jock I noticed the cocks of these guys near to my face.  Deon’s was dark brown and looked to be 3 times larger than mine in my mind.  He also had some extra skin that covered the end of his penis that I lacked.  Ryan was nearly as large, but his dick had the helmet shape like mine.  Eugene’s had that funny extra skin as well, but it was probably my size I thought.  Ryan elbowed Deon and smirked down at me as I stood there gaping at both of their larger penises.  I realized they were both larger than my father!  They both laughed and my face reddened as I hurriedly pulled up my strap.  I also noticed that they both had bulges in their jocks while Eugene and I had a distinct lack of that in ours when they were all on.

After running laps and playing a version of indoor hockey with Styrofoam ended sticks and a Nerf-like ball, we came back in to shower.  I was a bit nervous because I wasn’t sure if there would be more boys like Deon and Ryan or more like Eugene and me.  I was hoping there were smaller guys as well.  The gym teacher made sure that we all stripped and walked into the cold showers.  There was no way you could avoid walking into that area with eagle-eye Mr. Barnett watching his shivering charges.

I made sure to stand close to Eugene and I think he was glad too because we both felt a bit intimidated after seeing Deon and Ryan’s equipment.  We were also two of the shorter boys in height so we had 2 strikes against us already.  We each grabbed a shower head and started washing up.

As I cleaned myself, my eyes darted around and made mental measurements of the other boys walking around the showers.  There were other guys as short in height as Eugene and me, but they seemed to have bigger dicks than us.  Most of the other guys were taller, some much taller, and all of them had cocks at least as large as the shorter boys or larger.  Deon was by far the biggest and Ryan was second.  They both enjoyed their showers and showed a noticeable lack of embarrassment.  Meanwhile, I finished my cleaning and I put my hand in front of my organ and walked back to my locker.  When I got my pants back on, my heartbeat slowed to a more normal rhythm and my throat became less dry.

After a few weeks of this, there was a pecking order established in the locker room and Eugene and I were definitely on the low end of it.  I noticed some not-so-subtle bullying behavior after it was discovered that not only were we short in height, but we were really short where it counted.  Sometimes guys would purposely bump into us in the shower and crush us back into the wall.  Old eagle-eye never seemed to catch this behavior, but if I pushed back he’d yell “Mr. Dempsey, you will need to drop and give me 15 now!” and I’d have to do push-ups, even in the shower in front of everyone!

One of the more annoying behaviors was to go to a urinal to pee and have a guy like Ryan Bigelow slide next to you and then see him take a step back and pull out his cock and wave it around before pissing like a racehorse.  He’d look down at my dick and cluck his tongue and say, “Does Widdle Wonnie need to take a wee-wee?!  Maybe he should pull down his pants and pinch his widdle weiner so he won’t dribble on his shoesies?!”  The most embarrassing thing was that I sometimes did dribble down my shoes and pant legs because I was unable to get my thumb and finger out of the way of my pitiful tinkles.  It could be Deon, Ryan or even Ed Krumple (for crying out loud) and I’d still feel so belittled.  I started to use the toilets, but when I emerged from those, some guys would jeer and say things “Did you squat and pee like a girl again, Little Ronnie?”  Eugene also endured taunts like this and we both knew that there was no way to win at this time.

In 7th grade we got to take Sex Ed (if you’re parents weren’t conservative Baptist dweebs) and I was hoping to learn some more about what to expect in my teen years to adulthood.  I was praying fervently that eventually I’d grow to be manlier.  We saw films about VD (this was before AIDS) and learned about pregnancy, but talk about penises and how large they would grow never seemed to occur.  I did not want to raise my hand and ask. 

Luckily I had a friend named Ben who had access to his father’s Hustler magazine collection and he was glad to share them with me and other friends who were discovering sex.  I had seen Playboys at another friend’s house and lusted after the bosomy beauties I had seen in there, but Hustler actually showed vaginas and penises…erect penises!  The guys in those photo-layouts all seemed to have logs between their legs and whenever they got close to a woman the ladies either sucked them or seemed to scream in ecstasy as the dude went between her legs and pushed into those lovely folds of womanhood. 

I just loved imagining that the man in the picture had my face and I had the super long, fat cock that made the girls fuck or suck.  My little guy would get so hard as I imagined the slutty blond kneeling down in front of me with her eyes looking up in wonder as she gagged on my massive shaft.  Surely when puberty finally hit me, I’d have a titanic tool that would allow me to bed any girl I wanted?  Sometimes, I wished that so much, some whitish liquid would leak from my dick head – thanks to Sex Ed, I knew that I had just ejaculated!

At this age, the ritual of spending a night at a friend’s house would soon become something that everyone at our school started to do.  I was invited to Ben’s one time and I was so excited that I could see more of his father’s excellent porn collection.  Ben was keen to share and he even intimated something else.  “Hey Ron, do you ever jack off?”

I laughed a bit nervously and said, “Yeah, I think I have.  You’re talking about touching your dick right?”

Ben said “Not just touching, but jerking your cock until everything sprays out.  When I look at Dad’s mags I do that like 3 or 4 times in a row!”

“I have done that, but never 3 or 4 times in a row.  I can’t at my house, my Mom is a neat freak and she’d notice my big loads all over the bed or on the floor” (note:  I had just learned about big loads from the magazines so I thought I should impress Ben with that phrase).

“Hmmm, I’ve seen you at school and I wonder if you even can make a ‘big load.’  Do you want to show me?  I’ll do it too and we’ll see who makes a big load!”  suggested Ben.

“Well….”

“C’mon, I’ve got a real hot issue here for you!  There’s a black guy who is blown by two blonds and he gets them off too.  He puts his huge black pole into their tight pink cunts and just reams them out.  You want to see that don’t you, Ron?”

Curiosity got the better of me and I nodded.  Ben handed me the issue and then he grabbed another one he had stashed under his bed.  He then eased down his shorts and his briefs and started to tug on his cock.  He looked over at me and glared until I did the same.  He grinned when he saw me start rubbing my little dick with my index finger and thumb while he put his whole hand around his shaft and jerked it up and down.

I got to the photo scene of the dude with the two girls.  He was probably a foot long (in my eyes) and looked so smug with the girls both handling his cock and licking the sides.  He seemed to look out at me and say “Don’t you fucking wish this was you?”  Then his cock was shown entering the blonds and stretching them out.  My dick was hard as a nail and my finger and thumb started to rub faster and faster on its stubby little shaft and slightly fatter head.  He made Deon look small, but I reminded myself that Deon had yet to quit growing, and I hadn’t quit yet either!

Ben’s strokes also got faster and his cock was even bigger than before it seemed!  “C’mon Ronnie, let’s see who can cum the most!”  He tugged and rubbed violently and suddenly a milky spurt ejected from his dick into the air and onto his shirt near his chin, then 4 more of nearly equal size and volume went on his shirt by his heart, on his leg, on his comforter and onto the floor next to me and the air mattress I was on.  His penis continued to spasm and smaller quantities of cum oozed from his slowly deflating member.

Looking at Ben’s spurts and the black man’s amazing penetrations inspired my libido and I soon came as well.  I groaned and held myself on the flare of my cock head as 3 or 4 drops rolled lethargically from the top of my cock to the mound above my balls.  I felt my dick retract like a frightened prairie dog into its burrow and soon my slick fingers could no longer grasp my penis with any certitude.  I heard a low chuckling from the bed above me as Ben looked down at my diminution. 

“I had bigger loads after the 4th time I’ve cum in a row!  Maybe you came several times earlier today?"  

I shook my head. 

"No?!  What the fuck?!  Well, don’t worry; you’ll save a lot on rubbers!”  Ben laughed at his joke and turned the pages in his magazine before reaching down and working himself up big and hard again in front of me.  I looked down at my measly member and started to prod it with my index finger to make it grow big enough for me go grip it to jerk off again.  It took about 30 minutes, but I finally got hard again.  Ben had cum 2 more times and was now snoring with a very contented look on his face.  This time I got 2 drops to drizzle out miserably. 

I finally fell into an unsatisfactory slumber.