Dramatis personnae: My ex-wife; me.

Will you masturbate for me?

I'm sorry?

You once said that you wanted to masturbate in front of me. I'm asking you if you would still be willing to do that.

I remember. You were very firm about refusing, I recall. Now you've changed your mind?

Not exactly changed my mind in respect of indulging you or your sexual need. I want the character Tom in my book to masturbate and I want to describe quite precisely and in close detail what he looks like so that the scene is convincing. I thought of asking David's help but I think he would refuse. Then I remembered you. Will you do it?

I don't know, I'd need to think.

You did want to. What has changed? I know my refusal was a little brusque but you must have expected that. I suppose you still do masturbate?

Oh, yes. I still masturbate. It's not the sort of thing you stop doing. It's that things are so different between us now. I still hoped then that we would have a future together. Perhaps I should have been more explicit. I wanted very much to masturbate in front of you and for you. I saw it as showing you a truth about myself, a sort of intimate sharing. I wanted you to know what I looked like when I masturbated. To have that knowledge and for it to be indelible. In a way, I wanted to offer myself to you completely naked and exposed and put myself in your power. I wanted it to be beautiful and you seemed to wave it away as if it were something dirty.

I'm sorry. I'm afraid I did think it was something dirty. I thought you just wanted to wank for your own pleasure using me as a spectator. Perhaps if you'd explained better. You know I never objected to your masturbating and I recall I masturbated you myself quite often and even took the initiative. I remember thinking when you asked that I didn't want to be used by you. Perhaps I also knew deep inside that you wanted to share your masturbation with me and I didn't want to give you that intimacy. Also that's not what I'm asking now. I'm just asking you to masturbate yourself in front of me while I watch as an observer. Nothing more.

I see.

Let me tell you how I see the scene. This just an idea. Tom is alone at the bar in an hotel. For no particular reason he feels the stirring of the desire to masturbate which he has not yet had time to do that day. He's in no hurry. He lets the sensation form and grow, anticipating the pleasure he is going to give himself. A hostess smiles at him but he won't be distracted. He knows that his purpose is to masturbate not to be with a woman. When he is ready, he goes up to his room, threading his way through other guests in the bar and foyer and amused that they do not know what he intends. In the room, He undresses in front of the full length mirror in the bathroom and studies his nude body and semi-erect penis. With the thumb and forefingers of his right hand, the hand he will use to masturbate, he slowly rolls back his foreskin. The head of his penis prickles pleasantly with the exposure. He think of the hostess in the bar. What would she think now? The maid has already drawn back the bedclothes. He slides into the bed, closes his eyes and masturbates luxuriously until the moment of release.

I'm not sure that you need an actual demonstration but go on.

Well that's it. I begin a new chapter with the readers knowing something of Tom's secret self, more in fact that his wife knows. I don't expect you to enact the scene as I describe it. What I want is for you to do something like it, to undress and masturbate as if you were alone so that I can watch what it's like. It's very important that it should be as natural as possible, just as if you really were on your own.

And what do I get out of it?

You? Well you get to masturbate in front of me which is what you wanted. And I suspect you still do.