I have a relationship - with a woman called Carol who I met through my sister - that I think is very beautiful although some people might think is kinda weird. It is one of complete subservience on my part in which I explore my sexuality with her under her supervision. I have never myself touched her sexually or even seen her undressed but she has sex with me in the sense that sometimes she will masturbate me although mostly what I do is play with myself and masturbate naked in front of her while we talk. I am completely open with her about the kind of sexual fantasies I have and what kind of porn makes me masturbate and I find being emotionally as well as physically naked in front of her is intensely exciting. Carol is 35 and I am 10 years younger. Basically, what our experience together over the last year has taught me is to be able to be totally submissive to a woman. I would never have believed this was possible and so natural if I hadn't met her. I guess I grew up a macho sort of guy, in fact a misogynistic one. I liked to dominate my girlfriends and treat them roughly. Carol taught me that I was in a kind of denial of my real self; that subconsciously what I really wanted was to be dominated by girls but didn't dare admit it to myself. I think the age difference between Carol and me was perhaps necessary for me to achieve the breakthrough in my consciousness that I reached. I'd known Carol through my sister for some years before all this started. One evening after too many drinks, I made a crude pass at her on my sister's balcony. She slapped me very hard, twice, and told me I was asshole and to go wank myself. The blows and the cold venom in her voice chastened me like no woman had ever done before. I apologised and I meant it and fortunately she believed me. My sister was in the kitchen at the time and was entirely unaware of our little drama. Because I was kinda drunk, Carol drove me home. Outside my apartment block, she asked if I wanted a peace offering and without waiting for an answer took my cock out and masturbated me. This wasn't like any handjob I'd had before. Her fist was a vice as she brought me off with a few powerful strokes. I knew I'd been taken and owned by this woman who was a far, far stronger person than me - and I loved it. It was Carol who called me the next day and invited herself to my apartment. We shared a beer, me nervously and she with a slightly mocking smile on her face. Then she suggested I get naked in front of her. I obeyed automatically – like an automaton, in fact – and discovered I shed my nerves with my clothes because it was what I wanted. It felt beautiful and natural to be nude for her. I began to play with myself while she watched and the fondling segued into full masturbation. I expected a downer after I cummed but it didn't happen and after a few minutes I was able to masturbate for her again. Later, still naked, I shyly showed her my stash of porn magazines and CDs and she promised to get some new stuff for me. I surprised myself by truthfully answering her questions about my sexual fantasies and even volunteering without shame some stuff that I never expected to dare tell anyone, still less a woman. The thing is that not only did I trust her, I felt a powerful need to put myself in her power, to give her the ability to humiliate me despite myself if she wanted to. This is the way we've been now for several months. I tell her everything and I obey her in everything. Masturbating in front of her is the most exhilarating and satisfying thing I know. Carol's special. I'm not sure I'd ever find another woman who would be so totally controlling and sympathetic at the same time. But I honestly believe that the relationship that I have with her is the future for all men as women take over more and more of daily life. At the moment, we men treat women like bullies because we fear them. We need to overcome that fear and enjoy the pleasures of submission and obedience to the superior sex.