wow, this is so amazing. i know this is wierd to say, but i am feeling totally blessed right now. thank you so much and i am feeling a lot of incredible emotions towards all of you right now. it's not exactly like being in love, but it's really emotional and exciting!!! i feel like i am high, and my pussy is leaking so much i can feel the wetness between my thighs, but it's not just a sexual feeling it's more intense, i'm even crying a little right now, out of happiness.

okay, so i can't afford a chastity belt. i was just at the adult store monday to get the butt plug, "The Super Big End" which was the biggest one there (with a three inch base), and it was actually $40.that kinda means i'm broke until my next paycheck, and then i did actually glance at the chastity belts and they are really expensive, i think the cheapest one was like $140, and you know i barely make my rent.

diapers will be affordable, so i'm going to do that. i haven't got a plan yet, but i will do that for sure. thank you for the suggestion! i hope i am totally embarassed by this. 

okay, i've been thinking about the suggestion right now for about 2 hours, and i have decided to take the suggestion of never wearing panties again, either at home or at work. so right now i am about to go and cut up my panties into little pieces and throw them in the trash!

also i am going to go with the suggestion of wearing the butt plug a lot. and i love the idea of wearing something that vibrates on or in my vagina while i am at work or in other public situations, so that's a yes on that too, but of course i will have to wait until my next paycheck to buy anything like that... although i know the adult store carries some of that stuff, i think i have a few choices, including and egg shaped thing that will vibrate inside me, and also a butterfly shaped thing that will vibrate the outside of my pussy, which might be even more intense but might be too noisy for inside the cafe... i definitely cannot afford to loose my job.

okay so i just wanted you to know that i already frequently abuse my outer labia with needles. i love to do that, and i tease my clit with the points of the needles too.

okay so right now, as soon as i am done typing, what i will do is stick a whole bunch of needles into my lips and i will try to stick one into my clit too, at least enough so it won't fall aut by itself, if possible. i have a pretty big clitoris, and it's really swollen right now, so i think i can (although this will hurt, but that's okay of course). sooo... i am going to leave the needles dangling while i am collecting my panties from the laundry and wherever else they might be, and i am going to find the scissors, and i am going to cut them all up and throw them away, all while the needles are still sticking into my vagina. 

okay, so here i go!

luv

-april