Where do I begin?

I don't know how I feel about all of this.  It could be a phase, but is a phase supposed to last a lifetime?  I have always been inclined to feel feminine on the inside whilst the outside remains masculine and defensive of said masculinity.  Only in the past 6 yrs have i started to explore my more feminine side with more courage than ever before.  Sure I tried panties on when i was younger.  I've been with guys before, nothing serious, no relationships.   Hot and heavy but nothing really kinky or fetishlike, as much as I'd like to.  I have gotten more adventureous with girls than I have guys.

So where do I go from here?

Do I travel down the rabbit hole farther, faster, and dont look back. I mean my life isn't exactly financially stable, but it could be because of my insecurity with my inner self and how I want to express my self.

I have all these questions and no one to answer them or speak to about them.  

Where do I begin?