this blog is going to be a place to write down some of the things i do and have done, but also some of the things i fantasize about, since i have a very active imagination. i'm also hoping that people will offer me suggestions, both for pornographic drawings to look at (i don't like photo's), stories to read, or mainly i hope some of you will help to send me on little "adventures" as i am very actively trying to put myself in dangerous situations.

 for instance, someone on here suggested i should get a cat box and litter, and always use it to pee, instead of the toilet.  so that's what i do now, i pee in a cat box, and for some reason that really turns me on.

someone else suggested that i dress up in very suggestive clothing and walk very slowly by the place in my town where day laborers gather in the morning, looking for work. there's a few street corners near the store where they sell construction materials, and there are a lot of rough looking men who hang out there in groups. it's pretty scary, but i did it, i dressed in my red high heels and black mini, and a sheer red blouse that i kept unbuttoned down to my nipples, and with no panties. i walked very slowly past the corners, and right through the groups of men, and i wagged my hips slowly and smiled...

 i got a lot of attention! mostly just words and whistles, but i don't know spanish, except somebody called me a "puta" which is a word i know. and when i walked down the block through the same group somebody grabbed my ass!

this was very wonderful for me, but of course what i really want is to be raped... although i can't just bring myself to ask for it! i need to put myself in a position where it is likely to happen...

i need more ideas about situations that i can put myself in that would cause me to be embarrassed,  deeply humiliated, and degraded. also it would be great if i ended up getting raped. anything anyone can think of, mention it here or in a letter, and i might try it!

thank you so much!

oh also i am really into self-harm, so if anyone has any ideas of how i might hurt myself, awesome! 

 oh yes, i'm been thinking about the possibility of putting something very uncomfortable into my pussy and then walking around town with it in. what whould i shove into myself? how should i dress? where should i go? how should i behave?

 thank you! i hope some poeople respond to this!

luv

-april