What did it for me was a pub visit, seeing a pretty girl at the next table, knowing that under her dress she probably had on a pair of white, cotton knickers and that very shortly, she would be taking them off. It was a moment of self-revelation.

I was 18 and a virgin and I didn't have a girlfriend. I met Roy through a friend, Tom. Roy was in his late 30s and had his own ladies hairdresser business and it was no secret that he was very, very gay. He was immediately friendly but I kept him at arms length. I was occasionally part of a gay group socially through Tom but not sexually. It was a girlfriend I wanted and the guys knew that although it didn't stop them trying to tempt me sometimes. Who needs a woman when they can have cock, they wondered. It worked out that after a pub session one evening when I drank far too much that I somehow found myself alone with Roy back at his flat. Naturally, he started making advances but he didn't insist when I said I didn't want to and I passed out fairly quickly on his sofa. I was wakened the following morning by Roy coming into the room on his way to the bathroom. He was completely nude. Hi, he grinned, how's the head ? I'm late for work. I was riveted by his careless nudity and above all by his cock. Even flaccid, it was huge. I stared at it despite myself. Roy laughed and took the monster in his hand. Nice, huh, he said? But no time now. He went into the bathroom and ten minutes later was disappearing out of the door. Afterwards, I didn't fantasise about him or anything but my thoughts kept going back to the image of Roy fully naked and the size of his cock. And it's beauty. I'd never thought of a cock being beautiful before but there it was, I thought his penis was lovely. I started thinking about Roy more and more when I masturbated and had some great orgasms. I told myself it was just a fantasy but I couldn't kid myself that it kept coming back.

It was about a month after the night at Roy's flat that he, Tom and I made a date to spend an evening at a country pub. Tom backed out at the last minute so in the end, it was just Roy and I for a 20 mile drive. He was relaxed and chatty as we drove and my gaze kept being drawn to the bulge at the crotch of his tight trousers. Roy was always good company and he'd stopped putting any kind of sexual pressure on me. He knew nothing about my fantasising about his cock. We had a couple of drinks and then I noticed the girl. Pretty, blonde, in her early twenties and wearing a summer dress, she was with a young man about the same age and seemed unable to take her eyes off him. He's going to get it tonight, I thought. That was the moment I thought about her white panties, imagined to myself the growing moistness in her little cunt as she anticipated her boyfriends's coming caresses. I felt my own cock stir and harden. She was listening to her boyfriend but she was thinking about his cock. I was watching her and thinking about Roy's cock. For the first time, I understood what female desire must be like and I was sure I was right because I felt it myself so strongly. It was an inexpressible and urgent need to be possessed and deeply impaled, to be naked and owned, to submit myself to the god Penis. I wanted Roy to fuck me so badly that the need was scarcely bearable. I drained my glass and said to Roy let's go. He looked suprised but followed me. We got in the car. Where to, he asked. Anywhere, I said. Anywhere you can stick your cock in my asshole. I need you to fuck me.