The first thing that needs to be said is this:  I am a wimp.  Let me be more specific, I am a white wimp.  It has taken me awhile to admit that to myself, and it's even harder to type it out and see it written on the screen, but it's true. 

I had to confess this to another member on here recently, DarkNDomDJ.  My avatar is a pic of Him.  Of course, He was already aware of what I am, but I needed to tell Him in no uncertain terms.  It seems that He may already know me better in some ways than I know myself, but perhaps I'll get into that more later. 

It was DarkNDomDJ that told me to do this blog.  He told me about two weeks ago, but I needed to do some soul searching to come up with just what to say.  He will be mentioned in this blog, because it is through Him that I am coming to grips with the world around me, and He embodies what I am witnessing.   

I had been a member here on imagefap for well over a year without ever commenting on a single pic or statement, then I came across His profile and was moved to action immediately.  You can read my fawning comments on His profile if you wish to.  I only knew that I had to communicate my deep sense of wonderment and awe of Him.  I respect Him immensely.  I think that it is something akin to the way a child looks upon a famous athlete.  A child just kind of senses that they need to respect the athlete and look up to him and that they will never be anything like him.  With DarkNDomDJ it was more like I knew that I never was anything like him at all when I was in my prime, and I'm a good 10 years past my prime.  Then it became apparent that even when he was only 14 years old that he was already more of a man than I ever could've been.  Let that sink in for a second.  A 14 year old black male was more manly, masculine and confident than a grown white man. Not only could He have beaten me in weightlifting or arm wrestling, but he could've given me a beat down that could've hospitalized me.  Or He could've just intimidated the hell out of me and I would've done just about anything to avoid an ass-kicking.  And He could've done all of this at 14 years of age.  That not only takes a physical development, but a keen sense of self-confidence and the ability to read another person that usually comes with years of maturity.  So, He was physically and mentally a man and a self-assured adult at a very young age. 

The reader may notice that I am capitalizing the pronouns when I refer to Him.  This is also out of respect for Him.  When I correspond with Him, I also put the pronoun "I" in lower case letters, but for purposes of this blog, I'll use the standard capitalization.  When I correspond with Him I also begin and end every sentence with "Sir".  Also capitalized.  If I ever have a conversation with Him, rest assured, that I will do the same.  I would never disrespect Him. 

In my everyday life, I do my best to steer clear of such a black alpha male.  I have never been bitch slapped or beaten up or anything of the like, yet I am in constant fear of it.  I just try to blend into the background and be as quiet as possible and try to stay out of the way of such men.  I don't want to cut them off or do anything that could be construed as dis-respecting them. 

This blog is on imagefap, and as we all know, it is a site that is meant for sexual stimulation and fun.  So, why this blog on this site?  It is because of the sexual component.  No, I am not attracted to men, but I can recognize the sexual attractiveness of some men to women.  In other words, I know that I would never be chosen as a date, or sexual parter, let alone a breeding partner, as long as such strong males are available. 

I am 46 years old, just as it says on my profile.  I am from northwest Florida.  For those of you not familiar with my state, Florida is part of "The Old South" as well as a gateway to Latin America, and a retirement destination, and a tourist destination.  The northwest part of the state, is the part of the state that is still "Southern" in terms of its traditions and our accents and food and so forth.  So, like our neighbors in Alabama and Georgia, we were among the last in the USA to have equal treatment under the law to blacks.  And socially, we were also among the last to adopt the modern standards. 

Here is an example.  I went to a small junior college in the Florida panhandle and I asked a girl out on a date.  It turns out, she had dated one of the black basketball players at our college.  She had since moved on, and she didn't even accept my date, but a white female friend of mine told me if word got out that I even asked her out, because she recently dated a black guy, that I wouldn't be able to ever get a date at this small junior college again.  This was in the 1980's.  Times have certainly changed.   

So now white men have to compete against black men for white women on a level playing field.  What I mean by a level playing field is simply that the social stigma is all but gone for a white woman to date a black man.  So without that stigma, white women can choose the best mate or partner available.  This, of course, is where the playing field is not level, because so many are choosing black men, because the women are gravitating toward the most handsome, athletic, strongest, most confident, and most virile men, the black alpha male.  The only thing that protected white men in the past from losing a white woman to a black man, the social stigma, has all but disappeared, even in the Deep South, the last bastion of that stigma.   

The Gulf Coast along where I live, Panama City Beach and Destin, has become a spring break destination, not only for colleges and universities in the south, but nationwide.  Just last month, the month of March, was the month of spring break.  I had several chances to drive along the main roads in the afternoons and I definitely noticed the black man/white woman coupling.  In fact, every March I find a few free afternoons during the work week to do so, because the girls just walk around in bikinis and will even go into McDonald's or Wal-Mart in nothing but bikinis, so it's a good time for me to get some eye-candy.  But along with my share of ogling the hot co-eds, I can't help but notice who they are hanging with.  Every year it seems more and more of them are with black men.  And the black men are the types that I try to avoid.  Naturally, they are also in swimwear, and it's very evident that they are extremely muscular.  The kinds that if I fought them, there would be two hits, they would hit me and I would hit the ground.  The women are all over them, and these are hot women, too.  I mean they are the most gorgeous of these spring break chicks. 

That is something that has changed, also.  Some black comedian, I don't remember who, made a joke about 15 or 20 years ago, that when white men date black women, they get the most gorgeous black women, but when black men date white women, they get fat, ugly white women. This is no longer the case.  Now I only see hot women with black men.  And, I still see plenty of hot, gorgeous black women, staying with the black alpha males. 

Although I've never been married, I've come close twice.  The second time was with a young mother I met in 2007.  She was 18 when I met her, a month away from her 19th birthday, and I had just turned 40.  She had a baby girl that was 4 months old.  This 18 year was very hot, with a great set of tits.  In 2008, she cheated on me and became pregnant.  She told me she slept with every member of this rap group called the Nappy Roots.  I had never even heard of them, and still don't know any of their songs.  She also slept with the club manager, also black.  We decided to still get married.  What broke us up for the last time was something else.  I was counting down the days until 6 weeks after the birth of the baby so that we could have sex again.  But she went out of town that weekend under a false pretense.  It turns out that she went to New Orleans to sleep with a black man that she met on some website.  All of these men got what should've been mine.  So, even though she wasn't my wife, I think that it's accurate to say that I have been cuckolded by black men.  I told this story to DarkNDomDJ.  I forgot to tell him that my fiance told me that this black club manager prided himself on being able to seduce many of the Russian babes that settle in Destin. I guess they get to this country and get their first taste of a black man, and just want more. 

Speaking of Russians, this is not really a cuckold tale, but it's close.  I dated anothere young mother, she was adopted from a Russian orphanage when she was 10.  She was about 22 when we met.  She told me right off that her baby son's father was black.  I never even met the child.  She played me so well that I gave her a few thousand dollars and she did nothing more than give me a few pecks on the lips.  After she got the money she wanted, I found her profile on Facebook.  She was with the baby daddy the whole time.  I'm sure they both had a good laugh on how she so easily got money from me and didn't even have to put out.  I felt like such a dope and loser from that.  It didn't hurt, like losing my fiance, because I barely knew this woman, but I really got played. 

So, as you can tell, I'm really struggling with the realization that I may never get married and start a family at this point.  There just seem to be too many choices out there for women that I'm attracted to, and more often than not, the choices that the women are opting for are black men.  In other words, Real Men.  Not wimps, like me.   

 I'll write more later, as more occurs to me.  There may have been a few things that I've forgotten. 

Thank you for reading this.  Any and all comments are welcomed, and in fact, encouraged. 

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