By way of background on the last few entries, the reason why I've been concentrating more on anal stimulation lately, and doing the chastity thing, is that I finally (at least partially) castrated myself about a week and a half ago.

 I've had some level of interest in nullification since I was in middle school, when some other kids called me a eunuch. Didn't know what it was at the time, but I looked it up, and have been kicking the idea around since then. I had a very high sex drive, but wasn't sure what to make of girls; my best male friend popped my cherry during a camping trip in sophomore year of high school, and since then I've been a bottom to the core. The Anne Rice novel Cry to Heaven turned me on, and I've always rooted for the eunuchs in literature. In any case, my high sex drive has caused me some amount of difficulty over the years, and as someone who works in the computer industry, it's a constant distraction when I need to concentrate.

I was gay until I got married, and now, because of that, technically bisexual. However, as mentioned before, there's a big mismatch with our sex drives, and I don't quite fit comfortably in my wife. Not even close, really. Neither of us are interested in children, but we gave ourselves until age 40 to decide for sure. A touch past that now. So I finally took the plunge.

I'd read about various methods, and settled on the burdizzo as least problematic. However, didn't like the small wounds it leaves, and that I can't do it myself (apparently nobody can completely close them by themselves, or without painkillers). So compromised. Got the method down, took 8 ibuprofen and covered my genitals with sunburn spray to numb them, drank a six pack, put my big prostate buttplug up me to distract me, and crushed my testicular nerves/blood vessels for 20 minutes with a pair of flat-jawed vise grip pliers. Hurt like a son of a bitch, but I managed to do it, and felt the fizzing crunch of nerve damage.

Left a bit of a bruise, and didn't entirely kill my nuts, but they only hurt a tiny bit when I squeeze them hard now, they no longer respond to changes in temperature, and my sex drive has largely gone away. I still get hard if I actively think about sex, or if I have to pee, but for the first time I don't get horny unless I want to.

There are a few side effects, on both pro and con sides.

Cons: my weight lifting capacity went down by about 20 lbs, at least for the moment; have to work harder to maintain existing muscle mass. I've already gained a little more fat (slower metabolism). I have to watch myself in that respect or I might have heart problems later. I have started to swish a bit more when I walk. And my prostate still builds up fluid, albeit a little more slowly - I have to milk it about once a week or it starts to ache, but I don't feel the need to jerk off any more.

Pros: basically no intrinsic sex drive, as mentioned, thus better concentration/mental endurance.  For the first time I can talk to my super-hot boss at work (6'5" handsome/hung/sweet black man) and not get excited. Food tastes better (I guess this is part of why eunuchs tend to get fat). I can identify with my wife a little better now. And, stereotypically, I can sing higher notes without breaking into falsetto now.  :)