Perspective

©2014 Julanni

I remember, as a young girl, standing in a field one dark night, looking up at a clear, moonless sky and seeing so many stars that there seemed to be a cloud of them stretching from one horizon to the other.  It was too dark for me to freely run around in that field for fear of tripping on something and hurting myself, but I could look up at this vast empty space and see that a greater space beyond it was filled with wonder.  I could reach out to it, but I had no hope whatsoever of touching it.  It was a world beyond mine, there for me to see, but never for me to have.

That is similar to how I feel tonight, and I like it.  Master has gone to bed and left me locked in the smallest of my cages.  I am stored away for the evening, but this time he left my cage in the middle of the living room floor.  This cage has wire bars, really close together, so if I’m not tied, I can only fit my fingers or toes through them to reach beyond my cage.  Well, I can also stick my tongue through them, but that’s another matter.  The space in the cage barely fits me, so I’m curled up in a fetal position on the padded floor, my wrists cuffed behind me, with no room at all to move.

Looking up towards the ceiling, the dim light coming through the window allows me to see how much space there is in this room, space that I have no access to.  It’s an enormous amount of space compared to the compact little arrangement my cage forces me to occupy, and I have no hope of reaching out to touch any part of it.  And my thoughts slipped back to being in that field, feeling like I couldn’t move, but seeing all that space around me that I couldn’t ever go to.

Okay, so this is more philosophical than erotic, but it’s definitely a part of my bondage experience, and I like the way I find myself affected by it.  I feel limited, tucked away into a tiny chunk of space, leaving all the rest of the space to my master.  In a way, I’m serving him, like occupying a small spot on the floor so all the furniture remains available for his use only.  But it also makes me feel owned; I am his property and he has stored me away while he’s not making use of me.

I find myself pondering the world versus my world.  Or more mine versus that of my master.  His world is so big while mine is so small.  And for the night, my world has been reduced to a cramped little space that I have been squeezed into, about as small a space as I can possibly occupy.  It’s a fascinating perspective I’ve come to realize, comparing my role to his in our life together, and I like it, I like the feeling this gives me.  I feel small, unimportant.  But my master will make me feel important again, important to him, when he takes his pleasure of me in the morning.  This is the role I play in his world.  This is my purpose, and it satisfies me.

So now my mind wanders to how he’ll play with me in the morning, and I start to get horny again, squirming with warm feelings to the extent the tiny cage allows me.  I wish I could touch myself with my hands, but I’m able to settle for rubbing myself against my heel.  It’s not enough to reach orgasm, but it elevates my arousal and makes me want him more.