If you want to know how I was scarred for life read my first entry. But id didnt end there. I'm from a small farming town in cenral Illinois. I had to go all the way through school with those girls. There was only 47 graduating high school in our small town, alittle more than half girls, and every single one of them knew what happened that day, at least fourteeen of them saw it happen. I could not talk to girls and by the tenth grade guys bullied me for being a virgin. I became withdrawn, a loner.

After school I worked at the local market. I got my own place at 19. Mom was always pressuring me to get a girl and get married. At 20 I took a trip to the city and bought a whore. It was terrible and a waste of money. We both got naked and she tried lots of stuff but my dick didn't get hard. So I thought that over. A few months later at 21 I went again and brought a paddle. I told the girl what I wanted to get naked first. She paddled me and I got hard. When I stuck it in her it was only maybe a minute and it was all over.

When I was 37 my Mom passed away having never had grandchildren. I went to a whore twivce that year with a paddle. At 46 my Dad passed away.

At 50 the reality of growing old set in. And I went to the city this time with a bit of anger and frustration. I wanted to try something so I paid extra. I made the girl get undressed first and I spanked her ass with the paddle. OMG it was the hardest my dick ever was. And I fucked her hard and long. That was 12 years ago.