Back to work. Its nice to have a job with internet access and supervisors that don't give a shit. Its been a reaaaal slowwww lonnnnng day.

Been doin a lot of thinking over the last few days since I joined this wonderful community. See I don't live in a city, I don't even live in a BIG town. My chances to explore who I really am are pretty slim. This place is great for that, and I am soo fucking loving it!

I can say it like I think it here. And I have a lot to say :P

First, lemme tell ya. I don't plan to hook up with anyone I may communicate with on here. I wouldn't waste your time trying! If this was a perfect world and I didn't need to worry about STDs and axe murderers then ya I'd LOVE to suck some of the dick I've seen so far.

(PS Enough with the cock pictures, LOL, give me something original! Yes its big, yes its thick, I know you're proud of it. But really, once you've seen one you've pretty much seen them all. No offense! I would love to see you cum! I'd love to see someone sucking it, fucking it, stroking it! I'd even love hard cock if I could see the rest of you lol. A dick + pretty much nothing else isn't really THAT interesting. No offense!)

Anyways, back to what I was saying. I found another blog yesterday from one of my female "fans". Its just soo twisted that I really really have trouble believing it to be for real. Anyways in this blog this chick gets fucked by just about everything and every one. Some of it is pretty brutal. Gang rape at its most unreal. When I first started reading I was like, no fucking way! Ewwww. OMG call the cops!

After a while though, being separate from the events she writes I was like, wow that would be fucking awesome. A book store / peep show where the rooms have holes in the walls for guys to stick their dicks thru. If I could guarantee every guy in the place was clean I'd take all the cock I could get! That whole perfect world thing. Yea, I'm 100% wannabe whore. I totally get off on the idea of being used and abused. Slapped arround, raped, tied down. I'd love to be someone(s) sex toy for real. As long as they were rich :P. I get so wet! I'm getting wetter now just typing all this shit out.

Now I've been with guys that were into the rough stuff. But that usually stops at spanking my ass and biting my nipples. Which is about as good as it gets right now really. People would really start to question my split lip and black eyes and bruised throat if I found someone that actually would take it any farther.

This is where I get a little bit twisted and evil :P Stop reading now if that bothers you!

I have been opened up here on this site to a world I didn't really know existed. I have one conversation going right now with someone that brought up the idea of "nooseplay". Now at first I was thinking WTF?! But as I got to thinking about it, it really started to turn me on a lot. The only thing between you and death was the cock in your ass keeping that rope slack. Wow indeed! I went looking thru his favorites and found some drawings of of a sex scene like that that actually ended with the girl swinging from the rope dead. Now I gotta say that is not how I want it to turn out if I was involved :P Duh.

But then that got me thinking again some other dark thoughts, I have fantasized before about being with a man, and together we'd take some young chick and do all kinds of nasty things to her. I always pictured slapping her ass with a whip or some switch made out of a tree branch or something. Now I dunno if anyone reading this has ever watched any of the Hostel movies.. But in the 2nd one there is a scene where the girl is tied upside down naked over this big tile bathtub kinda thing. Then this other woman comes in and strips down and lays in the tub under her. Shes got this long knife on a stick kinda thing and shes running that over the girls back and ass and stuff, not cutting at first just hard enough to hook on the skin a little. After a while she starts cutting and rubbing this girls blood all over her tits and pussy and all that, then finally she uses some other knife thing and cuts the girls throat. I have watched that scene now like 10 times and I get hot every time. Right up until the blood starts flowing. Ewww blood. But anyways, the idea was there. The total power over someone else. The thing I usually always love to give up. The idea of having the power was like, WOW! In my fantasy we always killed the teen chick in the end. But I never went into detail because of that whole blood thing. Now with the idea of the hanging rope around the neck. I can finish off that fantasy in a way I could follow all the way thru.

Now don't get me wrong. I could never ever possibly do something like that. I'm waay too empathetic. Every time i get done fucking myself at the hostel scene I feel so guilty about it for hours. And thats just some hollywood flick :P

I have high hopes that someday, the way this computer shit is advancing. I mean look how really they can make stuff these days! Sooner or later someone is gonna figure out how to do the whole virtual sex thing the right way, and we all can explore these darker sides of ourselves in privacy and in complete detail. Anyhow, I'm outta here. Time to go home!