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never held hands before :(
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I find it so novel, such a fantasy for me to touch a girl (I should say lady I suppose). To be so close to somebody I can feel their heart beat or their breath seems like such a dream, I wish for it though, I wish to feel good enough for it.
Sex isn't exactly what I desire I don't think. I want to know what girls eyes look like up-close I want to see into them and feel something. A girl actually touching me, holding my hand. How can something like this now happen when it never has before? I would just feel so special. These normal people with their kissing and hugging look so hapless, I am only filled with anxiety and sadness. They smile at each other they are happy, they are comfortable. Nobody will ever want to be comforted by me.
Girls always play with thier hair, fiddle with it, I want to. Watching them do it has made me want to. I feel like I need a hug, nobodys arms have ever been around me. I`m not sure if I can live the rest of my life like this. I want to kiss girl, I feel like I could do it for days, but I never will it drives me insane. I`m so fucking angry.
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Posted on : Jan 7, 2014
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