My girlfriend suggested I start keeping a journal of my "self-imposed" life of chastity. Which implies I want to be kept in chastity, when I really (really) don't.

I should probably start with why I'm wearing a chastity cage, or rather, why she keeps me locked in one.

When I met my current girlfriend, I knew I never had a chance with her. She's incredibly outgoing, and I'm very introverted (not to mention excessively perverted).

I gathered the courage to ask her out (about six months ago). Never expecting to get anywhere with her, I wore a chastity cage, which I'd done on varoius occasions in the past, purelly for my own self amusement. Never as a lifestyle choice.

The evening of our first date went exceptionally well. Better than I'd imagined it would ever go. She thought I was funny. A beautiful, full-figured black woman with curves in all the right places. Huge juggz. A face and figure that constantly remind me of the porn-actress Crystal Clear; only with a much darker complexion.

At one point, still at the resturant, she leaned over and cupped my crotch with her palm. When she squeezed down with her fingers and held my chastity cage (along with my nutts), I knew I was fucked. The first thing that went through my mind was that I was seconds away from being publicly humiliated in front of 40 or 50 people, and I was so fucked.

A second later I reached down, tried to move her hand gently off my crotch, and then heard heard say flatly, "don't... even think about it.

I sat there with my head down. Shaking my head. Waiting for the moment of my ultimate embarrassment, which was going to happen any second. Then the seconds seemed to stretch into minutes, with her hand exploring the cage through my slacks. She tugged, and twisted, and squeezed, and pulled, and pushed down on my cage which made me mad. But at the same time I just kept thinking, I am so fucked, I am so thuroughly royally fucked. She's going to make a scene any second, and I am so thuroughly completely fucked.

Then I heard her say, "you're not gonna say anything??" Which jarred me out of my (i'm so fucked) moment, and realizing I'd not heard what she asked I quietly apologized and asked her to repeat what she said.

When I looked up from my crotch, she didn't seem angry, or upset, or mortified. She was holding her drink in one hand, twirling it calmly, while still maintaining her (very effective) grip on my chastity cage. She asked me very calmly, "what is it... and why the hell are you wearing it?"

I remember stammering at first. Then told her it was a chastity device. I told her I knew there was no way I was ever going to get anywhere with a woman as beautiful as her. I told her I wore the cage because I was sick, and perverted, and just thought wearing it would keep things interesting for me. and I apologized for what seemed like a long time.

I was still apologizing when I heard her say, "stop... so you can't fuck in that thing?"

For the briefest of moments I thought I was about to get truly lucky. I smiled and said "sure! Just need to take it off." :)

She said, "no."

Since that night: we've become very close. She lives with me now, and she's my girlfriend :) Before her I'd spent  that last decade paying for sex from escorts in vegas or  chicago. But now I'm living with a beautiful black woman with amazing juggz, a big ole round booty, and I don't have to pay her.

The down side is she's never let me go a day since that first night without wearing my chastity cage.

At first it was half the day, then just at night, then 23hrs day, then taking it off and putting it back on three to four times a day. She used to give me blowjobs occasionally, until I was hard, then I could cum on her ass, or her amzaingly soft juggz. Then for a while she gave me handjobs, until I was hard, then told me to go away and finish by myself, somewhere else.

A couple of months ago she changed it too: letting me out of my cage so I could jerk-off in another room, before we went to bed. Then last month, on the 15th, she just stopped letting out of my cage completely.

Thanks to an imagefap friends gf's suggestion (a few months back), my girlfriend had me purchase her a large wooden spanking paddle. Which she uses when I "bug" her too much about sex, or jerking-off, or cumming on her.

The most frustrating part is that she's constantly teasing me. We're intimate almost every day. She loves talking about sex! Constantly asking me if I want her soft warm lips wrapped around my cock. Asking me if I'd enjoy feeling my cock sliding up inside her warm wet pussy. Getting off on me telling her how much I want her. Making love to me without actualy having sex...

But the minute I bring up getting out of my cage, on my own, without her initiating things... out comes the paddle, and I just have to stand or kneel and take it until she's done.

Day 18 now, without getting out of this damned cage :(

She knows I'm addicted to porn, and jerking-off, and she used to let me jerk-off to personal requests for tributes from "real" women, or couples, or someones gf or wife. If their also women of colour... but haven't gotten one of those requests for 18 days either.

I will say for the record for whoever finds this, I do love her a lot. My girlfriend. She accepts me for who I am. A perverted twisted freak. Without ever making me feel embarrased about it.

I just wish... I could fuck that big beautiful juicy black ass of hers like she's a $200 an hour vegas stripper :)