Just a few thoughts on role play. It has come up in a few conversations in my life as of late; mostly role plays that did not go as planned. I have been around awhile and haveing few partners have done a few role plays, some good some not so much. I have been on several forums such as this and heard several personal stories, in person, from males and females.

First almost all role play involves a dom and a sub. I know when we use those terms we think o BDSM but if you think about it you will realise even the most gentle of role play, say teacher/student, suduced pool boy, prostitute, and so on, involves one being dominant and one being submissive. That being said lets look at the role of dominant and submissive.

Seems everyone wants to be the submissive these days. I have to admit I like the role myself, as it allows me to do things I would not normaly agree to. I have enjoyed being dressed in womens clothes, but do not like just dressing up. I'd like to be forced to have sex with another guy, but won't just do it. trouble is most think being submissive means you just get to lay there and enjoy it. The sub needs to provide clues and direction to the dom as to what is working and what is not. So moan, groan, scream, beg, provide a little dialog.

The dom needs to realise it is not about their enjoyment as a dom, but provideing enjoyment to the sub. Certainly enjoy being the agressor but provide the sub with whatever excites them and brings them to orgasm. I have gotten into this so much I have lost erection, and have ended the session without actually fucking my victim, although getting her off several times. You have to be watching fo the safe word/sign and be ready to STOP, and some times quit, session over. I have had subs for reasons not clear to me just decide things got a little too scary and they want to be done. Frustrating but be willing to make it up later.

Talk about what you want. in some detail before the role play. If you are proposing something give your partner some time to think about it, and bring their own ideas into the game. In my experiance girls particularly have alot of, don't go there, or Don't do that, and nothing ruins a good session like over use of the safe word. I have a female friend that gets partners off of Crigslist to indulge her kinky fantasy's (yes guys some of those girls are real) and she has found that there needs to be several emails before they actually get together. Don't over dictate or script the game. Leave your partner some room for insperation. I turned down a girls rape fantasy once for just that reason. She wanted to be the sub but control the whole game. Keep in mind some things stated around the coffee table just don't work, or go wrong in the bed room. When discussing fantasy's be honest and open, allow your partner to do the same, if you can, show some understanding. Just because a girl has a rape fantasy does not mean she would actualy want to be raped, just because a guy wants a girl to dress and act under age does not mean he hangs out at school yards looking for a victim. I like both but the thought of actualy hurting, abusing anybody, or causing real fear I find appalling.

Don't ask your partner do do something that just isn't going to work. I don't do buisness suits or in most cases loin cloths well and I have never had a partner that would do hooters girl or underage well. One of the reasons my aformentioned friend uses Craigslist is to find someone that can look, act the part.

Lastly at least for now is spend some time and money on your toys and costumes. Fumbling with restraints that break or are hard to use, lube that don't lube or stink, strapons that don't fit or uncomfortable on and on just ruin the game. I could say more on this subject and just realised I never got to safe words/ signs and a couple of other subjects but real life calls and (sigh) I gotta go. would like to see comments and other suggestions on these may be a few would share their own expeiances and ideas. I appologise for any misspellings for some reason spell check is not working here.