Porn reaches out and holds me, carressing me, calling me to come deeper and deeper. I never think - how do I break from this cycle? I only ever think - how can I get deeper? How can I devote myself more fully to Porn? I have Porn arrive in my email. I have Porn arrive on my phone. I have Porn arrive in texts. I have Porn as a screensaver. I have Porn as a homepage.

But still, I ask...how can I go deeper? How can I live more completely into the Porn?

I surround myself with people who throw themselves willingly into Porn. When I blog, they write, saying, "yes, go deeper." When I celebrate jerking off they say, "yes, jerk off more." When I wear panties and a bra to keep myself ever aware of Porn and sex they say, "yes, wear them all the time." When I spend hours of my life surfing Porn and masturbating they say, "yes, spend more time with Porn." When I chat, they say, "Yes, stay, let us lose ourselves in Porn together."

But still, I wonder...how can I go deeper? How can I live more completely into the Porn?

I realize that Porn and sex must be the first thing I think of, not the second or third or fourth. I must fill my mind completely with smut. I must think only in terms of filth. I must view my life through the lens of Porn. When the male flight attendent smiles at me I must think "I bet his cock is gorgeous" and then think about what I'd like to drink. When I step up to the fast food counter I must look directly at the titties and mouth of the girl before I give my order, ensuring that I can see her breasts in my mind and her tongue flickering over a cock or pussy. I must delight when she turns around to get my order, studying her ass, picturing her panties, knowing instinctively what a face would look like buried in it.

This is going deeper...