FREEZER GIRL SETS NEW RECORD AT VIRGINITY AUCTION - BECOMES TELEVISION STAR ALMOST

THE HIGHEST AMOUNT EVER PAID FOR A VIRGIN WAS SET TODAY AT THE MONTHLY AUCTION OF BARELY LEGAL TEENAGERS In DUBAI.  A WELL KNOWN SAUDI OIL SHEIK HAD THE WINNING BID OF $2,350,000.00 FOR THE PRIVILEDGE OF BEING THE FIRST PRICK TO ENTER THE GARDEN OF MISS ELLIE MAE CLAMPETT.  WHEN ASKED WHY HE PAID SO MUCH FOR THIS AMERICAN GIRL HE REPLIED, "LOOK AT HER, SHE LOOKS 13 YEARS OLD"

Auction rules require positive identification of all persons being traded. Miss Ellie Mae's paper work clearly showed that she entered a cryogenic chamber on her 13th birthday, and remained in cold storage for 10 years. She was defrosted on her 23 birthday and was immediately entered in the Dubai Auction of virgin teenagers.  The terms of the sale were not released to the public, but it is generally known that this Sheik requires a full week stay at the Palace as part of the contract.

To avoid negative publicity from American Liberals over Human Trafficking, Father Jed Clampett made the following remarks at a local press conference.

We are so grateful that oil was discovered on our West Virginia farm. We were able to negotiate a good lease for allowing the Sheik to drill into our property.  We are currently in negotiations with several Television Producers who have plans of their own for a "Rags To Riches" show about our family. 

After negotiations with Disney Studios broke down over morality issues, Jed decided that an older looking actress would be needed to play the part of his 23 year old daughter.  Here is the link to the shows promo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0_XAPku7SgE