All of a sudden my compassive side jumps on the scene and demands attention. I'm no better than him. He must be trying to justify its addiction by inviting all those people, friends that he knows he can count with at the time of having a good party time. Friends who smoke. Friends who snort and swallow pills. Friends that revel in degrading their minds in good company while they think it's a groovy thing to do.

But then that triggers the question of what am i trying to do with my own life.

For the first time ever since i quit tobacco, i've come to a state of things where there's not other choice but recognizing that there are even stronger addictions than those of recreational drugs.

i'm addicted to a woman that happens to own me.

i'm addicted to her way of thinking. i'm addicted to her way of living.

i'm also addicted to her life-history, even if i don't know much about it.

Sure, i know some snapshots of her life thanks to our few conversations in Yahoo, or our messages in Imagefap, and also thanks to the reading of her 'interests' in FetLife.

But the depth of knowledge and the richness of the past experiences that makes up what my owner is, i won't ever guess truly.

All i know about her is that she has a VERY strong personality. She may be old for the standards of most people, but not for me. She has strength. Actually, she's so strong that i'd put my hand in the fire and say that this very virtue is what keeps her alive, happy and creative throughout the trials and suffering that a slave has to take IN daily.

i'd also say that strength is what keeps her YOUNG and ready to be fucked at all times, no matter if she's fucked by our Owners or a bunch of delicious black, juicy cocks.

In any case the only thing i'm sure about all this filthy mess is that this addiction doesn't have a cure. Not that i'm looking for it, anyway. There was a time when i thought that my games and explorations with the filthy side of the world were something safe, devoid or real consequences.

This changed when i met owner maso. Since i know her my flesh is no more the flesh of a human but the meat of a pig, a pig that she will eat slowly, slowly, slowly, until there's nothing left of it, just the blackened bones... and that's all.

Who could deserve that pig's meat more than her, anyway?

Eat me, fuck me, blow me away, owner maso. My life has no meaning if it's not the glorious fate of being destroyed by you, bit by bit.

pp