I love knowing that I am going to sink into porn - get nasty and slide deep into the zone where only the nasty and dirty images flickering across my screen matter, where time is irrelevant, where work ceases to call, where this is only sex and lust - just the images in my brain and the sensations coming from my body.

When I know that I will be spending hours in the Porn. When I know that I will put everything in its place and conduct my Porn ritual - freeing myself from any distractions or the need to think. The whole day changes. The hours crawl - hours that will disappear when I open up my mind to depravity. Only the simplest tasks can be accomplished because my mind is already focused on the blessings to come, the delight that will soon be mind, and I can't think of anything else.

I can feel my heart beat faster as I enter I begin the ritual. This is no drive-by jerk fest...it is different when you know, and when you plan, when you are certain that you will happily spend hours viewing, writing, reading, Porn. Showering and primping. Panties on. Bra just so. Chair set up. Camera set up (because you know you will go there...you resist...but someone will ask...and you will humiliate and debase yourself). Even condoms so you can jerk in your own fluids and beat your cock long past when it would have been rubbed raw.

Yes...there is something different when you know...when you know that your evening will be spent far differently than most people's. When you will spend your evening feeding your mind what society says must be kept hidden.